...when I got home! Thankfully there was too much in the mailbox to support the packages that included the leggings SWMBO ordered and so it shredded those! Ha!
However the porch needs some attention now thanks to @Usafvet509 ! And this is the internals of the device:
http://i65.tinypic.com/99l6xk.jpg
Note the dangerous substances that smell of roasty goodness in the background.
Thanks Trent!