Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

This is from another site and another time, so ignore the dates and enjoy the content...

So I have a history of doing ridiculous things just for the sake of saying I’ve done them. I’ve run the Krispy Kreme challenge (a little under 5 miles and 1 dozen donuts in >60 minutes), I’ve done a non-stop hundred miler, I’ve drunk 6 pints of Guinness stout in 30 minutes, and now I have the fun idea of plowing through not one, BUT TWO Po’ Boy samplers from CI in one month. In this thread from last summer, a gentleman took on 15 of these discount beauties in 15 days. It is my intent to perform two-fold what he was able to accomplish!

The concept is simple. Here is a link to photos of all thirty sticks. They are from Po’ Boy number II and number III. The list for number II is as follows:

Duque Churchill (7” x 50)
La Differencia Cubana Churchill (7” x 50)
Piloto Cubano Churchill (7” x 50)
Don Rafael Churchill (7” x 50)
Joya Del Jefe Churchill (7” x 50)
Oro Cubano Churchill (7” x 50)
Fidalgo Negro Churchill (7” x 50)
Cuban Delights Natural Churchill (7” x 50)
Victor Sinclair Primeros Churchill (7” x 50)
Old Havana Churchill (7” x 50)
Don Smith Churchill (7” x 50)
Hesitant Pirate Churchill (7” x 50)
Raji’s Untimely Demise Churchill (7” x 50)
Ron Mexico Churchill (7” x 50)
Victor Sinclair Connecticut Churchill (7” x 50)

Number III doesn’t include a list because they are not sold individually, but it is described on the CI website as “Our version of the ‘bag o’ crap’. A who’s who of busted, failed, and oddball brands”.

Each day beginning on Monday, July 1st, I will smoke one and offer a short review following this format:
Name (as can best be determined by the band)
One or two sentences on flavor
One or two sentences regarding construction and burn
Single best part of the cigar
Single worst facet of the cigar
An overall rating on a scale of 1-10 with use of decimal (i.e. 8.3)

Since the month has 31 days, and I only have 30 cigars I will forgo the challenge and smoke something decent to celebrate Independence Day.
At the conclusion of the month I will scan all the bands on one sheet along with ratings and post here (for the next time you’re in the market to go slummin’)

Finally, for all those who look at this and think "Why? What a waste of time!"- relax, I'm not trying to legitimatize anything or have anyone take this thread seriously. It's just a way to have a little fun on the cheap and hopefully some people will get a few chuckles from it.

3 days and counting…in the words of my man Marvin “Let’s get it on!”

[Tobias Lutz]

Here we go...........

1. Havana Night Club Gold
This really wasn’t a horrible tasting cigar flavor-wise, but it was painfully uninteresting. It was very mild and consisted of two dimensions: A muted savory nut flavor, and a medium sweetness. Combined they made for something like yogurt covered peanuts. There is a reason you don’t often see yogurt covered peanuts There was no development as you went along, so what you got at the start was what you had to settle in to enjoy.
This was from the PBIII, so it was an 8” Churchill. You got 14% more dollar goodness out of this than the 7” variety in PBII (though the 7s claim to be all long filler). I’m confident this one was a short filled stick and it was excessively soft and slightly bent from packaging (maybe I should email CI for a replacement). The draw was loose but not terrible. The cap began coming apart (I punched) within 5 minutes of lighting. The burn was fairly decent with only 1 touch-up.

Single best part of the cigar: It was surprisingly not vomit inducing (yeah, that’s the best I’ve got)

Single worst facet of the cigar: Was obviously rolled by a drunk 3 year-old. Loose and the cap came off like it was a graduation.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.4

[Tobias Lutz]

11. Dalaly Diamonte

This cigar was very soft except near the head where it was firmly packed. The foot only appeared to be about ¾ filled. This was an 8” from the Po Boy III sampler and the only defect was a small 1/3” split coming up the body from aforementioned foot. The wrapper was not that unattractive, with only medium sized veins and the cap was done well for a change. I punched the cigar cleanly and it drew well. I think this was more from being filled properly near the cap than a sign of overall quality though.

Well, the old saying goes…”Even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and again.” This squirrel finally got his The cigar started off a little peppery like yesterday’s offering, but it only got better from there. It moved into a mild profile with a tasty toasted tobacco flavor, and then on to something I can only describe as reminding me of the scent associated with using a woodburner on a craft project. The second half of the stick also had a moderate sweetness to it. To really shock me, it burned perfectly even in spite of the perceived issues with fill consistency. Overall it was surprisingly good (bear in mind we’re talking about a .99 stick here).

The single best part of the cigar: The flavor. It had some, it was more than one dimensional, and it never had an awkward stage.
The single worst part of the cigar: Because this is in the Po Boy III sampler, I have to acknowledge that it IS NOT available for individual sale like all of the winners from the Po Boy II.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.9

[Tobias Lutz]

21. Bonita Momma
An 8” Churchill from the Po Boy II collection, this one had a very amusing band. The was a woman wearing an Egyptian headdress with pyramids and monoliths in the background, and on the back it promised “One mother of a cigar” The wrapper was medium brown without any large veins. The cap was pretty shabby, and was flaking prior to being punched. The fill felt “hit or miss” with some areas soft, but others feeling like knots (particularly near the head). It had a very mild tobacco scent and after punching it I discovered a moderately strong cedar flavor. The draw was tight, which I think was a result of the “knots” near the cap.
The cigar started off with sweetness in the smoke, but a bitter taste coming from the wrapper (cap). The hints of cedar from the cold draw were perceptible early on. The draw remained hard for the duration of the smoke. It was tight enough to make it seem like work to keep it lit in a couple spots even though it burned evenly all the way down. At certain points the mild-medium profile was laced with an acidic taste. In the retrohale it was almost like the tobacco had been soaked in vinegar. When this passed however, it was replaced with a nice flavor that included hints of leather. Pretty much a mixed bag as it went along.

The single best part of the cigar: A tie between the hilarious band, and the amount of cedar you could pick up on. Very nice in a cheap stick.
The single worst part of the cigar: Feeling like I was trying to suck a golf ball through a straw because it was unevenly filled.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.0 (Kind of like Kenny Loggins’ career, it had its high notes, but they were intermingled with crap and ridiculousness)

[Tobias Lutz]

30. Victor Sinclair Primeros Tabacos
I saved what looked to be one of the highest quality smokes in the samplers for last. This is technically one of the “high dollar” ‘gars in the mix because it typically sells for a little over $3 per stick when purchased in a fiver. It was the final 7” stick from the Po Boy II selection and had a light to medium brown Connecticut wrapper. There were a few small veins, the cap looked good and the wrapper laid down well without any wrinkles or lifting up. It felt like a full stick- it was firm down the length and had a nicely packed foot. It smelled like toasted tobacco with almost a caramel overtone. It punched cleanly and the draw was firm with a slight nuttiness.

I was pretty disappointed at the start of the cigar because it had a salty/tangy nuance to the flavor that just seemed off. This only lasted for several puffs before disappearing, but it was not a good first impression. From there it moved on to a grassy, then lightly woody mild profile smoke. It held its own as far as burn throughout the stick, requiring no corrections and holding its ash rather stiffly. About two thirds of the way through it became a little acrid and started to resemble a dirty ashtray. I purged it twice and it recovered fine. The final section had a stronger sweetness and some spicy notes in the retrohale. It was a surprisingly fast smoke for a Churchill at only 90 minutes. Typically 2 hours of fun can be had with a 7” stick (at least that’s what she said.)

The single best part of the cigar: Nice looking, no construction flaws and a classy band
The single worst part of the cigar: The start was rough- close to being an ammonia experience.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.4 (I wouldn’t pay $3 for one, but thrown in at .99, it did well for itself.)

And so it ends…
The experiment goes out quietly, rather than with a bang. I’ll be getting together to herf with a BOTL up the highway on Friday, and I’m sure we’ll smoke something decent to get the el cheapo taste out my mouth. I could probably scrub through a bar of soap in the shower till the water ran ice cold and still not be able to feel clean after doing this. I think I found a couple sticks that would suffice for the smoker who just wants something lit on fire hanging out their mouth while they fish/mow/work on the car. I also was able to mark a few land mines before anyone skipped ignorantly upon them.

“They who go feel not the pain of parting; it is they who stay behind that suffer.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

[Tobias Lutz]

2. Oro Cubano Aniversario
This cigar’s band advertises “Hecho a Mano” or “Handmade”. It’s a good thing they clear this up, otherwise I might be compelled to call and suggest they have their rolling machine repaired. This was an ugly cigar to look at with quite a number of wrinkles in the wrapper and two nicks that cut through to the binder. It was however better packed than stick #1 . 7 inches long and firm [insert potty humor here], it had a decent draw and burned well through the first half with zero touch-ups. It wasn’t a razor sharp line, but it managed to correct itself. The second half was another story altogether.

This cigar started off with a “bright” grassy note which wasn’t half bad. It was accompanied by a slight sweetness and overall it had a mild profile. I thought going into this that I would find one or two really palatable cigars amongst the 30 and I began to think this was the first…WRONG. After a couple inches the flavor developed a somewhat chemical sweetness that made it taste like I had just licked a whole bunch of envelopes. The cap was getting pretty soggy (and I’m not a “wet” smoker), and the draw became weaker, though not from the cap issues. About halfway through the cigar began to tunnel and I knew something was wrong. It was as if it hit a knot of tobacco and moisture because the burn faded fast into a tunnel and the flavor became acrid like wet tobacco. The remainder of my time with the stick was bitter and unpleasant.

Single best part of the cigar: If like when I recall several ex-girlfriends, I can forget about the last half, then I can say confidently the first was pretty enjoyable.

Single worst part of the cigar: Whatever in the hell happened at the 4” mark (tunneling, horrible flavor, etc.)

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.3 (a good churchill to have quickly on a smoke break at work)

[Tobias Lutz]

12. Contraband

This was an 8” from Po Boy III. It had an ugly wrapper (looked like it was water damaged with light and dark spots.) There were a couple large veins but the cap was affixed nicely. The wrapper was lifting up in one spot, but there weren’t any cracks in the cigar. It was filled pretty evenly and the foot looked decent. It had an awesome tie-dye colored band which made it look like a cigar you would find between the flip-flops and sea shells in a shop at Myrtle Beach. The punch was clean and the draw was solid with the faintest hint of cocoa.

Initially the cigar tasted stale. This was combined with a flavor or grass and cardboard. About 1/3 of the way into the cigar the cap disintegrated and ended up in my mouth. I spit that piece of the wrapper out and continued to smoke. About halfway through the smoke assumed a medium profile but became acrid at the same time. Shortly after this the cap was completely gone and the wrapper unfurled several inches down the length of the stick. St this point I chucked it out the window of my car as I was in no position to try and make repairs (not that I could have at this point). While it is named "contraband", I'm not sure anyone would even bother sneaking this one into a prison in their rectum- it's not worth the effort.

The single best part of the cigar: The cool tie-died hippy gay pride band. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
The single worst part of the cigar: The fact that I couldn’t smoke it past 4” because it self destructed.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 4.0 (It couldn’t even make it into the latter rounds, what am I supposed to do with that?)

[Tobias Lutz]

22. Stogies (Gold Leaf Label)
This was another 8” from the Po Boy III and the second Stogies brand cigar in the smaplers (hence the label description). It was medium brown with a couple small, thin veins and a handful of wrinkles in the wrapper. I could feel a seriously soft spot an inch above the foot. The cap was horrible. It was lifting up in a couple areas when I took it out of the cellophane. All these sticks are made in the D.R., so I can’t help but wonder if these are the rollers who will eventually by making LPs for Drew Estates, or are these the ones who were recently fired from there? The foot had a mild scent of cocoa powder. I managed to punch it without destroying the cap and the draw was as tight as yesterday’s smoke. When I pulled on it like I was sucking cement through a Slurpee straw I picked up on something like freshly hewn lumber.
This one was a disaster from the word go. It began with a flavor similar to overcooked Brussels sprouts. You could pick up on a little sweetness in there, but it was overwhelmed by an unnecessary bitterness. This moved on to the highlight of the cigar flavorwise, a brief period of wet mowed grass that lasted all of 5 minutes. From there I went on a tour de force from doused campfire, to a taste like you would get eating licorice while sitting behind a truck that billowed diesel fumes into your car window. In the end this cigar was like a couch manufacture to CA flame retardant standards- it did nothing but smolder and put off noxious fumes.

The single best part of the cigar: The grassy puffs very early on.
The single worst part of the cigar: The way it made me feel shameful for smoking it.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 4.5 (These points are almost exclusively for the fact I never had to touch up the burn, which though sometimes ugly always managed to pick itself up by its bootstraps.)

[Tobias Lutz]

3. Raji’s Untimely Demise
This had the coolest band so far (an elephant flanked by two images of the Taj Mahal at sunset). This was a 7” churchhill that was rolled pretty tightly, but had a few knots along the length. There were several larger veins that looked as if they were about to crack and the cigar had indeed split a ½” up from the foot through both the wrapper and the binder. When examining the end I found a small unfilled pocket between the tobaccos in the foot. The crack ended up being irrelevant and the cigar burned evenly without touch-ups all the way down.

The Untimely Demise was interesting from the first puff. Early on I got a “tinny” taste like you get from beer or vegetable in a can. The metallic flavor didn’t sit well with me, but fortunately it only hung around for an inch or so. After that the stick took on grassy notes that transformed into something like buttered toast. It tasted like the aroma you get when you toast the foot of your cigar with a torch lighter, but then with oily/milky notes. I wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, nor was it as off-putting as it sounds. The profile of the cigar was mild from start to finish.

Single best part of the cigar: A tie between the bitchin’ band and the fact it actually progressed between three different flavors as I smoked it (regardless of whether they were good)

Single worst part of the cigar: The construction was very shoddy. While pretty firm, I was surprised it didn’t simply crumble in my hand while I smoked it.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.2 (The fabrication kept it from being a 6.7)

[Tobias Lutz]

13. Stogies Old Havana

This was a 7” stick from the Po Boy II Sampler that had a much darker wrapper than I have become accustomed to with this selection. The cigar felt as if it were filled pretty well. The foot was full and there was only minimal damage to the wrapper on that end. There were plenty of small veins that were slightly darker than the wrapper leaf and worked to make it a fairly attractive cigar. It had a “darker” scent to it than most of the Po Boy sticks and really gave a nice taste in the cold draw after I punched it.

The cigar was pleasantly more pungent from the start. It was the first stick in the sampler that began with what I would call a medium profile. It had a moderate espresso flavor that was clean and bitter (but not in an unpleasant way). Halfway through this settled down and was replaced with a strong woody flavor. The smoke stayed rich and absent of sweetness all the way to the nub. Unfortunately it did turn a bit harsh close to the end. A couple purges were unable to clear this up but I was not going to use a nubber on it so it really didn’t matter.

The single best part of the cigar: The deeper flavors that avoided falling into the common mild Po Boy profile.
The single worst part of the cigar: The flavor was burnt and caustic at the very end.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.9 (The flavors were decent, the burn was god except for a small section that self-corrected. This one might be a diamond in the rough for .99 if allowed to age a bit.)