Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

This is from another site and another time, so ignore the dates and enjoy the content...

So I have a history of doing ridiculous things just for the sake of saying I’ve done them. I’ve run the Krispy Kreme challenge (a little under 5 miles and 1 dozen donuts in >60 minutes), I’ve done a non-stop hundred miler, I’ve drunk 6 pints of Guinness stout in 30 minutes, and now I have the fun idea of plowing through not one, BUT TWO Po’ Boy samplers from CI in one month. In this thread from last summer, a gentleman took on 15 of these discount beauties in 15 days. It is my intent to perform two-fold what he was able to accomplish!

The concept is simple. Here is a link to photos of all thirty sticks. They are from Po’ Boy number II and number III. The list for number II is as follows:

Duque Churchill (7” x 50)
La Differencia Cubana Churchill (7” x 50)
Piloto Cubano Churchill (7” x 50)
Don Rafael Churchill (7” x 50)
Joya Del Jefe Churchill (7” x 50)
Oro Cubano Churchill (7” x 50)
Fidalgo Negro Churchill (7” x 50)
Cuban Delights Natural Churchill (7” x 50)
Victor Sinclair Primeros Churchill (7” x 50)
Old Havana Churchill (7” x 50)
Don Smith Churchill (7” x 50)
Hesitant Pirate Churchill (7” x 50)
Raji’s Untimely Demise Churchill (7” x 50)
Ron Mexico Churchill (7” x 50)
Victor Sinclair Connecticut Churchill (7” x 50)

Number III doesn’t include a list because they are not sold individually, but it is described on the CI website as “Our version of the ‘bag o’ crap’. A who’s who of busted, failed, and oddball brands”.

Each day beginning on Monday, July 1st, I will smoke one and offer a short review following this format:
Name (as can best be determined by the band)
One or two sentences on flavor
One or two sentences regarding construction and burn
Single best part of the cigar
Single worst facet of the cigar
An overall rating on a scale of 1-10 with use of decimal (i.e. 8.3)

Since the month has 31 days, and I only have 30 cigars I will forgo the challenge and smoke something decent to celebrate Independence Day.
At the conclusion of the month I will scan all the bands on one sheet along with ratings and post here (for the next time you’re in the market to go slummin’)

Finally, for all those who look at this and think "Why? What a waste of time!"- relax, I'm not trying to legitimatize anything or have anyone take this thread seriously. It's just a way to have a little fun on the cheap and hopefully some people will get a few chuckles from it.

3 days and counting…in the words of my man Marvin “Let’s get it on!”

[Tobias Lutz]

Here we go...........

1. Havana Night Club Gold
This really wasn’t a horrible tasting cigar flavor-wise, but it was painfully uninteresting. It was very mild and consisted of two dimensions: A muted savory nut flavor, and a medium sweetness. Combined they made for something like yogurt covered peanuts. There is a reason you don’t often see yogurt covered peanuts There was no development as you went along, so what you got at the start was what you had to settle in to enjoy.
This was from the PBIII, so it was an 8” Churchill. You got 14% more dollar goodness out of this than the 7” variety in PBII (though the 7s claim to be all long filler). I’m confident this one was a short filled stick and it was excessively soft and slightly bent from packaging (maybe I should email CI for a replacement). The draw was loose but not terrible. The cap began coming apart (I punched) within 5 minutes of lighting. The burn was fairly decent with only 1 touch-up.

Single best part of the cigar: It was surprisingly not vomit inducing (yeah, that’s the best I’ve got)

Single worst facet of the cigar: Was obviously rolled by a drunk 3 year-old. Loose and the cap came off like it was a graduation.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.4

[Tobias Lutz]

2. Oro Cubano Aniversario
This cigar’s band advertises “Hecho a Mano” or “Handmade”. It’s a good thing they clear this up, otherwise I might be compelled to call and suggest they have their rolling machine repaired. This was an ugly cigar to look at with quite a number of wrinkles in the wrapper and two nicks that cut through to the binder. It was however better packed than stick #1 . 7 inches long and firm [insert potty humor here], it had a decent draw and burned well through the first half with zero touch-ups. It wasn’t a razor sharp line, but it managed to correct itself. The second half was another story altogether.

This cigar started off with a “bright” grassy note which wasn’t half bad. It was accompanied by a slight sweetness and overall it had a mild profile. I thought going into this that I would find one or two really palatable cigars amongst the 30 and I began to think this was the first…WRONG. After a couple inches the flavor developed a somewhat chemical sweetness that made it taste like I had just licked a whole bunch of envelopes. The cap was getting pretty soggy (and I’m not a “wet” smoker), and the draw became weaker, though not from the cap issues. About halfway through the cigar began to tunnel and I knew something was wrong. It was as if it hit a knot of tobacco and moisture because the burn faded fast into a tunnel and the flavor became acrid like wet tobacco. The remainder of my time with the stick was bitter and unpleasant.

Single best part of the cigar: If like when I recall several ex-girlfriends, I can forget about the last half, then I can say confidently the first was pretty enjoyable.

Single worst part of the cigar: Whatever in the hell happened at the 4” mark (tunneling, horrible flavor, etc.)

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.3 (a good churchill to have quickly on a smoke break at work)

[Tobias Lutz]

3. Raji’s Untimely Demise
This had the coolest band so far (an elephant flanked by two images of the Taj Mahal at sunset). This was a 7” churchhill that was rolled pretty tightly, but had a few knots along the length. There were several larger veins that looked as if they were about to crack and the cigar had indeed split a ½” up from the foot through both the wrapper and the binder. When examining the end I found a small unfilled pocket between the tobaccos in the foot. The crack ended up being irrelevant and the cigar burned evenly without touch-ups all the way down.

The Untimely Demise was interesting from the first puff. Early on I got a “tinny” taste like you get from beer or vegetable in a can. The metallic flavor didn’t sit well with me, but fortunately it only hung around for an inch or so. After that the stick took on grassy notes that transformed into something like buttered toast. It tasted like the aroma you get when you toast the foot of your cigar with a torch lighter, but then with oily/milky notes. I wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, nor was it as off-putting as it sounds. The profile of the cigar was mild from start to finish.

Single best part of the cigar: A tie between the bitchin’ band and the fact it actually progressed between three different flavors as I smoked it (regardless of whether they were good)

Single worst part of the cigar: The construction was very shoddy. While pretty firm, I was surprised it didn’t simply crumble in my hand while I smoked it.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.2 (The fabrication kept it from being a 6.7)

[Tobias Lutz]

4. Stogies

This was an 8” from the PB III. It had some wrinkles in the wrapper and a ½” long split a little bit above the foot. There were a couple large veins and over all it had a very spongy feeling, though there were a few solid spots. I punched it and it gave a very loose draw. The wrapper itself began to unfurl two minutes into the smoke. I unwrapped it completely, exposing the binder and then rerolled the wrapper leaf, sealing it with spit in order to make it serviceable. This worked for about 4” of the cigar but then it began to fall apart and I had no choice but to put it out. In spite of the issues with the wrapper, as long as it held together this cigar gave a sharp and perfectly straight burn. Go figure.

It was actually disappointing that the construction was so bad on this one. It had some interesting flavors, some less pleasant than others but not completely repugnant. The first thing that came out was a taste that reminded me of the charred crust you get on the outside of your marshmallow when roasting it on the campfire. This eventually went away and was replaced by a flavor like weak coffee with hazelnut creamer in it. At one point immediately before the whole thing self-destructed it turned very sweet and sugary, almost like a Kuba Kuba.

Single best part of the cigar: Was the scorched marshmallow flavor at the beginning of the stick.

Single worst part of the cigar: I have never seen a cigar that was so poorly made. Were it not the sake of trying to review this stick I would have tossed it in the trash can 5 or 6 puffs in when the wrapper came completely off.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 1.0 (If it doesn’t stay together for you to smoke it, any positive qualities a cigar may have are rendered moot.)

[Tobias Lutz]

5. Ron Mexico

I should preface by saying that I really wanted this one to be decent. For all the crap this cigar takes- being the butt of so many jokes, I hoped it would be a diamond in the rough. That said, I think I was still objective.

This was one of the 7” churchills from the Po Boy II. It was firmly packed and the foot appeared full. There were some wrinkles and veins in the wrapper but nothing too bad. There was a ¾” crack from the head down the length of the cigar which proved to be inconsequential. It smelled pretty tasty out of the drybox compared to some of the others I’ve smoked so far. I punched it and the cold draw was pretty tight but I didn’t taste anything repulsive. It burned true all the way down with zero touch-ups.

The cigar started off with just a basic mild tobacco flavor, nothing notable. There was zero sweetness and at some points the flavor actually bordered on astringent, but it was never so bad as to make me want to put it out. Toward the middle it developed a tangy (not twangy mind you) profile that at once tasted interesting and cheap. Like a bottle of Bud Light Lime. The cigar really began to fail taste wise when I got further down and it started to give hints of gasoline in the retrohale. This was just downright unpleasant.

Single best part of the cigar: Was the construction. I’ve had $5-6 dollar smokes that weren’t rolled this well.

Single worst part of the cigar: The petrol taste in the ending parts of the stick was simply gross.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.0 (Yes, the last flavor profile was bad, but this stick was made much better than I expected any of the Po Boys to be.)

[Tobias Lutz]

6. Fidalgo Negro

This is a 7” stick from Po Boy II. It had some very large veins and was generally pretty rough looking. There were not any cracks or splits in the wrapper (a first in this experiment). There were some soft spots in the filling, but the foot appeared consistent. Once punched the draw was fairly loose and had an underwhelming flavor.

It began with a decent pungent start. There wasn’t exactly much depth to the flavor, but it was consistent with that of tobacco and profile was mild-medium. As the stick progressed it assumed a wet hay taste that wasn’t all that bad. Next thing I know I look down and I’m halfway through a Churchill without saying anything negative. Gasp!... Of course I spoke too soon because within a couple minutes I had to correct a burn that had gone ½” astray. Nonetheless, the flavor remained decent, if unexciting through the nub of the cigar. I thought it might possibly venture into a completely medium profile (unlike the other bargain sticks so far), but alas it never quite made it there.

Single best part of the cigar: It never offered an unpleasant flavor. Unexciting, but never unpleasant.

Single worst part of the cigar: The burn went to hell after the first half and needed to be touched-up three times.

An overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.2 (The first stick where my tongue can’t cite a legitimate reason to trash it as a yard-gar.

[Tobias Lutz]

7. Don Rafael by Victor Sinclair

This was a 7” cigar from the Po Boy II selection that is allegedly all long filler. There were several veins in the wrapper leaf and it was “lifting up” in a couple spots. There were two separate ½” splits right against the cap on opposite sides of the cigar. This was a pretty firmly packed stick with a foot that appeared full. The draw was pretty tight but not overly so.

It began with a woody flavor that was ‘bright” tasting. Unfortunately the cigar had horrible burn from the get go. I touched it up several times and still at one point looked down to see the an ash silhouette of Florida burning down one side of the wrapper. The best flavors actually came out in the 2nd half of the stick. The smoke became more voluminous and took a slightly stronger profile (still mild-medium) while giving off a very faint hint of pepper. Toward the very end I got the taste of moist soil which rounded it off nicely.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the pseudo-dynamic flavor. It changed a couple times and held my interest.

The single worst part of the cigar: Was the construction. There were a couple issues with the wrapper as well as all the burn problems.

Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.9 (The flavors were good, but the burn was more than annoying. Another stick that had potential, but fell short of being decent across the board.)

[Tobias Lutz]

8. Fields of Gold
This was an 8” stick from the Po Boy III sampler. It felt firmly packed but the foot appeared to be partially hollow in the center. There were not any cracks, nor splits in the wrapper, but the cap was pretty shoddily constructed. It was cut very small and barely made it over the curvature of the head. There was one large vein down almost the entire length of the cigar. I punched it and it actually had a very good draw. Some might have considered it to be a little too tight, but I always suggest erring on the side of too tight rather than too loose. The stick gave a faint toasted almond flavor with the cold draw.

Immediately after lighting the cigar I noticed two things. First, there was an acidic taste to the smoke like when a vitamin C tab starts to dissolve on your tongue. Second, the initial several puffs tasted kind of soapy/perfumed, as if the roller had sweat some knockoff gardenia toilette spray on the binder. About halfway through the cigar it began to tunnel briefly which was accompanied by a very rough and acrid taste. This was the only burn issue with the cigar and it managed to correct itself so I wrote it off as any overly moist section. The remainder of the smoke shifted to a medium profile and had a woody tanginess to it. Like putting out your campfire with Countrytime lemonade.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the way it managed to correct itself from a ½” tunnel without me having to help it along.

The single worst part of the cigar: Was the flavor. It wasn’t like vomit aftertaste or anything, but if I got a taste like that from a carnival kissing booth- I’d take my money back from that bearded lady.

Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.8 (ughhhh. The number speaks for itself.)

[Tobias Lutz]

9. Don Smith Series Dee This was a 7” Churchill from the Po Boy II sampler. Slightly darker wrapper than most of the others in this set. It was firmly packed and the foot appeared completely filled. There were a couple thick, short veins and a the cap was questionable just like on the F.o.G. I smoked yesterday. It was cut unevenly and seemed to barely cover the head of the cigar. There was a ½” crack from the cap down the wrapper and a knick where a small piece of the wrapper was gone exposing the binder near the foot. The draw was very tight- almost to the stick’s detriment. On a side note- the band was amusingly long, wrapping almost completely around itself where it overlapped.

The stick began with an aged wood flavor. Sort of reminded me of an aging barrel used for alcohol. About a third of the way in I tasted pleather. That’s right, pleather. Plastic leather. Tasted like leather, but had nuances of “new plastic” to it, like when you open a cooler for the first time after buying it. Very strange, but only moderately repulsive. This went away at the halfway point and then the cigar was really quite boring the rest of the way. It did have a surprising creaminess to its passé mild tobacco flavor which made it more enjoyable.

The single best part of the cigar: The creaminess of the smoke in the second half of the cigar.
The single worst part of the cigar: Pleather. It was like having Freddy Mercury’s pants shoved in my mouth. Fortunately it was over quickly.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.5 (The burn was decent, the flavors didn’t make me sick, nor was it wasn’t squishy and under-filled.)