Back by Popular Demand: Tobias' Po' Boy Masochist Extravaganza

[Tobias Lutz]

10. Victor Sinclair This was a 7” stick from the Po Boy II selection. The wrapper was much light than they have been coming lately so that was a little change of pace. Beyond the color it looked like Frankenstein’s cigar. The wrapper was wrinkled in several places with odd folds near the head. The cap looked as if it were torn from the leaf and gluesticked haphazardly on. It looked as if a first-timer rolled this one. It was soft with fill gaps that could be felt through the wrapper. I could easily use my thumb and forefinger to form it into a box-press shape.

When I punched the cigar the head split about ½” down the side. The draw was surprisingly tight and I discovered that was from a knot of tobacco under the band. The intial light was spicy and peppery. I was kind of surprised to get such a profile right off the bat. It settled down rather quickly into a kind of woody taste. The burn was horrible, sometimes going almost an inch astray before I would give in and correct it. The stick did have a nice earthiness that was void of the chemical overtones I have been picking up in other Po Boy cigars. Near the end of the stick the cap actually came off in my mouth and I said “to hell with it” and chucked it onto the interstate.

The single best part of the cigar: The flavor. It really wasn’t too bad and it was quite good at the very beginning.
The single worst part of the cigar: The burn. It was as queer as a football bat and never recovered on its own.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.8 (This was a book that I should have judged by its cover.)

[Tobias Lutz]

11. Dalaly Diamonte

This cigar was very soft except near the head where it was firmly packed. The foot only appeared to be about ¾ filled. This was an 8” from the Po Boy III sampler and the only defect was a small 1/3” split coming up the body from aforementioned foot. The wrapper was not that unattractive, with only medium sized veins and the cap was done well for a change. I punched the cigar cleanly and it drew well. I think this was more from being filled properly near the cap than a sign of overall quality though.

Well, the old saying goes…”Even a blind squirrel gets a nut now and again.” This squirrel finally got his The cigar started off a little peppery like yesterday’s offering, but it only got better from there. It moved into a mild profile with a tasty toasted tobacco flavor, and then on to something I can only describe as reminding me of the scent associated with using a woodburner on a craft project. The second half of the stick also had a moderate sweetness to it. To really shock me, it burned perfectly even in spite of the perceived issues with fill consistency. Overall it was surprisingly good (bear in mind we’re talking about a .99 stick here).

The single best part of the cigar: The flavor. It had some, it was more than one dimensional, and it never had an awkward stage.
The single worst part of the cigar: Because this is in the Po Boy III sampler, I have to acknowledge that it IS NOT available for individual sale like all of the winners from the Po Boy II.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.9

[Tobias Lutz]

12. Contraband

This was an 8” from Po Boy III. It had an ugly wrapper (looked like it was water damaged with light and dark spots.) There were a couple large veins but the cap was affixed nicely. The wrapper was lifting up in one spot, but there weren’t any cracks in the cigar. It was filled pretty evenly and the foot looked decent. It had an awesome tie-dye colored band which made it look like a cigar you would find between the flip-flops and sea shells in a shop at Myrtle Beach. The punch was clean and the draw was solid with the faintest hint of cocoa.

Initially the cigar tasted stale. This was combined with a flavor or grass and cardboard. About 1/3 of the way into the cigar the cap disintegrated and ended up in my mouth. I spit that piece of the wrapper out and continued to smoke. About halfway through the smoke assumed a medium profile but became acrid at the same time. Shortly after this the cap was completely gone and the wrapper unfurled several inches down the length of the stick. St this point I chucked it out the window of my car as I was in no position to try and make repairs (not that I could have at this point). While it is named "contraband", I'm not sure anyone would even bother sneaking this one into a prison in their rectum- it's not worth the effort.

The single best part of the cigar: The cool tie-died hippy gay pride band. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy.
The single worst part of the cigar: The fact that I couldn’t smoke it past 4” because it self destructed.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 4.0 (It couldn’t even make it into the latter rounds, what am I supposed to do with that?)

[Tobias Lutz]

13. Stogies Old Havana

This was a 7” stick from the Po Boy II Sampler that had a much darker wrapper than I have become accustomed to with this selection. The cigar felt as if it were filled pretty well. The foot was full and there was only minimal damage to the wrapper on that end. There were plenty of small veins that were slightly darker than the wrapper leaf and worked to make it a fairly attractive cigar. It had a “darker” scent to it than most of the Po Boy sticks and really gave a nice taste in the cold draw after I punched it.

The cigar was pleasantly more pungent from the start. It was the first stick in the sampler that began with what I would call a medium profile. It had a moderate espresso flavor that was clean and bitter (but not in an unpleasant way). Halfway through this settled down and was replaced with a strong woody flavor. The smoke stayed rich and absent of sweetness all the way to the nub. Unfortunately it did turn a bit harsh close to the end. A couple purges were unable to clear this up but I was not going to use a nubber on it so it really didn’t matter.

The single best part of the cigar: The deeper flavors that avoided falling into the common mild Po Boy profile.
The single worst part of the cigar: The flavor was burnt and caustic at the very end.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.9 (The flavors were decent, the burn was god except for a small section that self-corrected. This one might be a diamond in the rough for .99 if allowed to age a bit.)

[Tobias Lutz]

14. Duque

This is what the website says about this fine 7” stick from the Po Boy II sampler…”Duque is mild in body and it sure beats a sharp stick in the eye. Pronounced ‘du-kay’.” For starters I’m glad they cleared up the pronunciation, though it is still too close to dookie for my comfort. Second, I don’t believe I’ve ever smoke a cigar that didn’t beat “a sharp stick in the eye”, so that doesn’t elicit much confidence from me either. The MSRP on these fine cigars is $200 for a bundle of 50, but you won’t pay that- no sir, you’ll only pay .99 per churchill for these beauties. Mine was inconsistently filled, soft down the length of the cigar with what appeared to be a filled foot. There was no visible damage to the wrapper and the cap stayed intact after punching it. The draw was pretty loose and tasted a little stale/bland.

This cigar gave off A LOT of smoke. I’m talking about LP smoke levels which I enjoyed very much. The flavors began as being woody and fairly mild. After a couple inches it shifted to something more like a toasted pita. Hardly a heavy profile, but actually pretty pleasant. The cigar eventually moved back to its woody beginnings, this time with a distinct taste of cedar. As has been the tendency with these .99 sticks, it unfortunately was unable to maintain its stellar performance all the way to the finish line. It morphed to something like an oily shop-rag which really was not doing it for me.

The single best part of the cigar: The amount of smoke it gave off was beautiful
The single worst part of the cigar: The final taste that it left in my mouth was disappointing and made me feel like the cigar had been carried around in my mechanics back pocket for several days.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.7 (good burn, lots of smoke, taste was so close…but no cigar )

[Tobias Lutz]

15. Don Brotto Seleccion Privada

This was from the Po Boy III selection and in turn was an 8” Churchill that is not available for individual purchase. The light wrapper had a couple small wrinkles and minimal veins. It was filled well and had a bountiful foot. There was no visible damage, but the cap did split some when I punch it. The cold draw was incredibly tight. Too tight to smoke, so I used a toothpick to improve the draw a little before lighting.

My first observation was the lack of smoke associated with this stick. It just didn’t produce much, and what it did offer was extremely mild. After an inch or so we got going and the flavors also became more interesting. The first was something similar to pine shavings (like you would put in a hamster’s cage). This began to give way to a more floral taste that wasn’t overwhelming and was pretty pleasant. Along the way I also noticed that the ash hung very tight to this cigar. Even sticking it out the window at 75mph wasn’t enough to knock it off until it was over an inch long. Close to halfway through the stick the smoke really began to pick up and the cigar ended quite nicely.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the flavor. It was pretty mild, but stayed interesting.
The single worst part of the cigar: The tight draw and how long it took to really get the smoke going.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 8/10 (If the fill had been less tight this could have gone as high as an 8.5)

[Tobias Lutz]

16. Hesitant Pirate

This is a 7” from the Po Boy II selection and can be purchased in bundles of twenty for $19.99. This cigar got bonus points right of the bat for being one of the coolest bands in this .99 sideshow circus. It may be the best because when you remove the band under the overlap I found a red X which served to turn it into a freakin’ treasure map! The construction was solid with a good fill of tobacco. The wrapper was a lighter shade of brown with no visible damage and the foot was full. The cap did crack slightly when I punched it but this proved to be a non-issue. The cold draw was firm with a slight nuttiness.

I wanted to judge this cigar by its band but the flavors when I smoked it were a mixed bag. It is very mild and started off with a bit of sweetness. However, I noticed before too long that I was getting an aftertaste of ash and fabric softener. About halfway through I found a bit of tanginess sitting in the back of my throat. There was a bright sport where I thought I tasted some cedar in the retrohale, which proved to be the most interesting part of the cigar. In the end it began to simply taste like a watered down dirty ashtray. It’s a good thing I didn’t put any money of this horse for her looks because I would have ended up shooting her before she made it out of the 3rd turn.

The single best part of the cigar: Was the band! I would have this thing tattoo on me if I had some free space.
The single worst part of the cigar: Tasting like I put a cigar out in a pitcher of cheap bear and then drank it.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.8 (Like when the question and answer round of the Miss America Pageant teaches us…you can be pretty on the outside and yet still devoid of quality tastes.

[Tobias Lutz]

17. La Diferencia Cubana
This was a 7” churchill from the Po Boy II pack. It is available from CI in packs of 40 for $65, so this is not your bottom of the barrel .99 stick It had a light brown wrapper with some wrinkles down the length and on the side of the cap. There were two large veins but it was well filled with a solid foot and no soft-spots. The foot had an odor of tobacco and maple syrup. The punch exposed a tight draw with a slightly acidic tone as if it had been sprinkled with a bit of lemon juice.
I don’t have a whole lot to say about this cigar. It was quite unremarkable, both in regards to the good and the bad. The burn was fine, almost razor sharp through the first half when I began to slightly stray but it corrected itself. It had a very mild profile and tasted of tobacco and burning grass. Nothing spectacular, but void of anything to mock. It was on the mild side for my preference, but that is subjective. The flavors didn’t develop or morph along the way and you finished with the same reasonable and passé taste with which you began. If you smoke because you’re compelled to have something on fire hanging out your mouth and are satisfied by mild, uncomplicated flavors…let me introduce you to your dream cigar
The single best part of the cigar: There was nothing that rose notably above the rest
The single worst part of the cigar: There was nothing that stood out negatively against the other parts.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 7.5 (I almost fell asleep while smoking it, but it was pleasantly absent of some of the characteristics that have jarred me from my boredom while smoking these budget sticks.)

[Tobias Lutz]

18. Outlaw Big Game Fishing
This stick might win the award for most amusing name (best still goes to Hesitant Pirate). It is 8” of mediocrity from the Po Boy III sampler. The wrapper was a lighter brown with a couple of flaws. Most notably it was flaking up around the middle of the cigar. There was one large vein and several wrinkles down the length of the stick. It felt soft in sections and the foot showed an uneven fill. Most interestingly, the foot had both light and dark brown filler. It punched cleanly and gave a pretty loose draw that tasted like plain toast.

This one started out rather brash and caught me off guard. I have to admit that I hacked for a minute before I continued on. The beginning was slightly acrid/bitter, but this improved while the stick maintained its medium profile. It started to take on a woody, flowery taste that was hard to nail down but not at all unpleasant. Around a 1/3 of the way in the cigar began tunneling severely and I had to relight it with my torch. I believe it hit one of the tight spots in between all the loose pockets in the fill. The second half of the cigar had a milder flavor with a taste like strong unsweetened black tea. Unfortunately the wrapper began unfurling with a few inches left when I went to ash it out my car window. I tore a small section off and was able to get a few more Puffs but it continued to come undone until it could no longer be smoked.

The single best part of the cigar: That woody/cedarish/floral taste in the first half was pretty good.
The single worst part of the cigar: The way I couldn’t even finish it because it unfurled.
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 5.5 (It gets this score mainly for the flavors because construction and burn-wise, it left much to be desired.)

[Tobias Lutz]

19. Sacuba Cigars
This was an 8” from sampler #3 . It had a darker brown wrapper without any obvious construction issues. No large veins, nicks, or wrinkles. It felt a little on the soft side but the foot was moderately full. The cigar smelled “old”. By this I mean like a stack of dusty hardcover books that have been sitting around for quite a while. The cap cracked slightly when it was punched, but the draw was fairly tight. There was a slight hint of sweetness but no real taste to speak of.

The cigar began with a pleasant medium bodied profile that was devoid of any pronounced flavor. After an inch or so I began to pick up a moderately strong wood flavor but alas it never garnered much traction and it disappeared fairly quickly. Similar to a few other sticks so far in this experiment, this cigar was basically a one trick pony through the long haul. Nothing really came alive taste wise to catch my attention down to the nub. It burned well, never requiring correction. This was a very milquetoast smoke that had me questioning whether I like some of the horrible cigars more if for no other reason than they entertained me when I smoked them. This lust laid there like an inflatable friend that can’t requite your interest.

The single best part of the cigar: The medium profile was a nice change of pace from some of the very mild cigars in the sampler.
The single worst part of the cigar: The way it never really tasted like much of anything (except for the 5 puffs where it tasted woody in the early going)
Overall rating on a scale of 1-10: 6.3 (I can’t complain about the way it smoked or the flavors (because it didn’t have any! This would be a good smoke if you ever lose your sense of taste with a cold.)