Attention New Pipers: Even The "Vets" Struggle Sometimes!

[Branzig]

This is a bit of a Public Service Announcement for the new pipe smokers. It is a bit long winded, but I feel like it has a good meaning to it. Enjoy

When I started out smoking pipes, I didn't really turn to the internet to learn anything. I just picked up a cheapo pipe and went on my marry way not having a clue of what I was doing. I was happy just because I was smoking a pipe, and all my hero's smoked pipes, so just having one scorching my mouth was enough. One day I wanted to actually improve at pipe smoking, so I went to the internet and found some forums...

Boy was I intimidated with what I saw. After reading only 3 or so posts, I felt like I knew nothing and that all these guys were pipe gods! The way these guys talk about their experiences, they must never have a bad bowl, a bad smoke, or a scorched tongue!!! They taste all these bold flavors, their palates are so much better than mine! They pack their pipes perfect every time, dry their tobacco perfect every time, and smoke flawless bowls every time!

Well, new pipe smokers, know that this is just simply not true. Case in point, the little story I am going to share with you all now

So I just finished up an evening bowl of Samuel Gawith Navy Flake. It is one of my favorite tobaccos and I have had plenty of great experiences with it. Tonight was not one of those nights. I dried the flakes out to what I felt was the right humidity and went to packing my pipe. I packed it like a nimrod. It was somewhere between a fold & stuff and a loose wadded mess. I took a test draw and thought to myself, "perfect!"

I couldn't get the flake to light...it wasn't dry enough. I worked my way through 4 matches and eventually had a decent enough false light I felt. Finally, one more light and I would be off to the races. Not so. I continued to puff on the pipe like a freight train trying to get the pipe to stay lit. Little, tiny, pitiful plumes of smoke whisping out of my mouth. Frustrated, I got out my Zippo and attacked the tobacco. Ignited it did, along with my tongue. At this point, my smoke was tasting something like burnt hay and smoky wet moss. Yum.

20 minutes in, the tobacco is finally lit some what, and my cheeks hurt from puffing so hard. I start to tamp a bit...and it goes out. I light it back up, tamp...it goes out. I repeat this stupid pattern for the next 15 minutes or so. At this point my lungs hurt, not form smoke inhalation, but from having to take so many deep puffs. My mouth tastes awful. Like wet mossy latakia tobacco rolled in wet hay. I remove the top layer of ash, stir the bowl, rework and "fluff" the tobacco. There we go! Now it will be great! Light it up, smokes OK for a bit. I tamp it down. It goes out. I dump out the rest of the bowl and give up for the night. I am defeated. It is like I have never smoked a pipe in my entire life.

So remember novices out there. There is a lot, for a lack of better word, elitism on internet forums. The bulk of the things that people like to talk and post about are their pipe victories, never their failures. Tonight I wasted an hour of my life trying to smoke a pipe and I have been puffing pipes for around 7 years. Whenever you are getting discouraged, and you feel like you are the only person out there not getting it, remember this little story I just wrote!

We all struggle sometimes, even the guys that have been smoking pipes for years!

[Nature]

Thanks for sharing Brandon!
Damn, as I read this, I thought you were writing about one of MY smoking experiences.

[Alligator Gar]

Weird parallels. I've been complimenting myself on how awesome my technique has been lately. Got some fresh SG Full Kentucky Flake in a Pug trade (my first can is about tapped-- it's probably my favorite flake to date) and made two mistakes. I was too eager to smoke it so I only dried it for ten minutes in Florida. I also got greedy and stuffed my Great Dane with as much as I could get in there. I could copy and paste your smoking experience from this point forward because it was identical. I made it to the bottom but it wasn't pleasant and I passed out once or twice from hyperventilating. Thanks for making me feel better, Brandon.

[Emperor Zurg]

I read things like the following on tobaccoreviews all the time...

In Reference to a particularly obnoxious gooper:

Anyways I was pleasantly surprised when I could actually taste a bit of chocolate and the cherry was just perfect. Burns well with no relights, not too moist and requires no drying out. No tongue bite and a very mild smoke. I can't recommend this tobacco enough especially for novice smokers and aromatic lovers.

Same story all the time: ...moisture was perfect right out of the tin, burned right to the bottom with no relights, didn't bite, no dottle, dry in the bottom of the pipe... blah blah blah blah....

Complete and utter BULLSHIT!!!

That particular quote was in regards to PS Cherry Bonbon. Granted, I do like the stuff once in a while but it's an awful gooper, PG soaked to the max. Right out of the tin/bag it simply WILL NOT BURN and if you try, it will barbeque your tongue. Maybe the guy's delivery truck broke down in Death Valley for a week and the stuff dried out, I don't know but I do know when I get the stuff you can practically wring out the moisture.

Moral of the story; dry your tobacco and don't believe the fantasy reviews.

[MrMotoyoshi]

This is a great thread and just what the pipe community needs. I'll smoke a bowl to the bottom with one light...with a match!... and think "damn it feels good to be a gangster"

But it's not always so.

I always try to remind myself, for the greater percentage of pipe smoking history, men were smoking pipes by themselves or for merriment among their friends. Hubris nor pontification was never a requisite in either instance. Smoke your pipe, make mistakes, but most of all enjoy it.

We are in an age where pipe smokers from literally across the planet can share in this relatively small hobby. Tis a great time to be alive.

[Branzig]

Complete and utter BULLSHIT!!!

Wait, WHAT?!? People Lie On The Interwebz?!?! No Wayz!!! On De Interwebz, if it is stated it are true!

Great points made Zurg

This is a great thread and just what the pipe community needs. I'll smoke a bowl to the bottom with one light...with a match!... and think "damn it feels good to be a gangster"

But it's not always so.

I always try to remind myself, for the greater percentage of pipe smoking history, men were smoking pipes by themselves or for merriment among their friends. Hubris nor pontification was never a requisite in either instance. Smoke your pipe, make mistakes, but most of all enjoy it.

We are in an age where pipe smokers from literally across the planet can share in this relatively small hobby. Tis a great time to be alive.

Thanks for the kind words, Andrew.

You are absolutely correct, it is easier than ever to reach out to all of our fellow pipe smoking brethren. You nailed the exact point that I was trying to make. Our hobby is relatively small, and some of the comments made on the internet can scare away new comers or make them feel defeated. I am just trying to speak some truth and let everyone know out there that we all struggle. Even that guy that just wrote a 15 paragraph essay on how awesome he smoked "X" tobacco and how great his technique was, and if you are lucky you may be able to pull half of the same flavors out of the tobacco that he just did.

Actually, that guy, he probably struggles the worst to be honest

Luckily, I feel like this forum in particular is full of honest and, for lack of a better term, "real" people who are always willing to help.

[quo155]

Very well said and I couldn't agree more...

It sounds like my experiences, more often than not...but I keep on going and enjoying!

[Madbricky]

I really like this thread! Some of the reviews I read are utter buffalo chips! I know a few guys who have either supertaster ability (genetic) and more important guys like @Jimlnks or @Tobias Lutz who have smoked a plethora of tobaccos and can be trusted for real flavor reports from everyday type of pipes.
Now as to technique and mechanics of smoking I have been drying stuff good and three step stuffing for many years. The exception is cutting slices and coins to bowl depth and "fold & stuff" just so for a good draft. Even so, I have to dump bowls and fix problems.
As long as I can remember the only tobacco I get that smokes out of the container is Daughters & Ryan. The pipe I'm smoking now is stuffed with Rimboche SJ and it is just slightly moister than I like no thanks to my humidor. I pack it a little looser and puff slow expecting relights. The little bit of extra moisture gives the Perique a lot more spice for me.
You nailed it on the pipe packing though, I would say the prize goes to the guy who dumps the pipe and loads it right or dries the tobacco or both. That could be the vet or the new guy with presence of mind to fix the mechanics of the problem.

[Pugsley]

Struggle? I've been smoking pipes for years and if I could get to a 50% success rate loading a bowl of flake, it would be a major accomplishment. I don't lie about it, I just don't post about my many, many failures.

[cbr310]

@Branzig What!? you messed up a bowl? And I asked you for advice..... Great post my friend, was nice to read this, and the replies. Feeling better about the pros still shitting the bed like myself from time to time. Either way I dont like any of you guys cause now I have the pipe bug.....BAD, not to mention Im getting into the cigars also! Oh well whats the big deal about a 2nd divorce!! lol Really love all you guys and the input,laughs, and the brotherhood that are here on THIS forum. Thank you all!