ATTENTION: CB Pipe Tobacco Review Bombing Run Version 2.0

[JustTroItIn]

1. Alligator Gar
2. JustTroItIn - Strong
3. Branzig- Strong
4. Tobias Lutz
5. LandonColby
6. Lostmason
7. Bluenoser
8. BryBuySC - Strong
9. GWBowman - Strong
10. MrMotoyoshi - Strong
11. Chris0673 - Mild
12. Horsefeathers - Strong

[NeverBend]

The LUTZ Contest:
There are now 20 slots available and I've added some prizes.
Please read through my BS for details (my way of getting you to read the whole thing).
Pictures of the prizes will follow in this thread in separate posts..

Once all the reviews for the blind test are in, I will judge the winners based on how closely the review expresses my experience with that tobacco or for any reason I wish, like literary merit or sweeping epic BS. My choice but I solicit opinions that I may ignore :hiccup:.

First Prize: Barling #5579 canadian from ~1966.
Second: Barling Londoner 1/8th bent pot from ~1970.

Contest within a Contest:
Pipe smokers all have tales that help express their passion for this endeavor. While we're waiting (actually - you're waiting) I thought an entertaining contest might be in order.

Tell a story about pipe smoking. It can be humorous, sad or whatever as long as you were a participant or witness. I invite anyone and everyone to share a tale.

“Acts have their being in the witness. Without him who can speak of it? In the end one could even say that the act is nothing, the witness all.” (Cormac McCarthy, The Crossing).

Next Tuesday we'll poll this thread and vote on the best story and the winning author will receive a briar pipe with the tobacco that I send to you. No plagerism please . In the event that a winner isn't apparent from public voting @TobiasLutz and I will select the winner. All sales are final. No returns or refunds. No whining.
First Prize: Barling #5574 canadian from ~1966. From the same collection as the #5579 above, bit shorter but virtually the same pipe.
The Catch:
Yes, you have to be on the nominations list to win this prize. In other words, I won't send the pipe out by itself, so if you haven't already, sign up for the sample and start writing! In the event that someone who is not on the nominations list wins, we'll congratulate you but give the prize to the next best entry. Please number your stories (sequentially) to help avoid confusion. I confuse easily.

The Prizes:
All of these pipes are in good to excellent condition. Some knot-head lightly sanded the rims of the Barlings but the pipes are solid. I will professionally (no snickering) ream the pipes before sending but you'll have to clean/restore to your standards (ebBay speak). Please post pics when you're finished and make me wish I kept this trio. Failure to post pics will insure that you're navel fills with lint. If you have an 'outy', you can ignore the last line.

I am called NeverBend for several reasons, not the least of which is that this 1/8th bent Londoner is, to me, like an Oom-Paul to you (just thought I'd mention this). Should one of our foreign friends, (not USA) win, we'll try to work something out but please write a story.

Tobias and I can (and I will) enter the story contest and Tobias is eligible to win but he can't receive the (story) prize. (Sorry Tobias, I'll try to make i up to you by harassing @Banzig until he sends you one of his prized CustomBilts). If you vote for me to win the contest I will lose all respect for you as I already have for myself. OK, I'll write about cigars to disqualify myself so no sympathy votes for me.

Write men, write!

[NeverBend]

Barling Prizes (2) 5579.jpgBarling Prizes (3) 5579.jpg

~1966 Barling #5579 canadian

First prize for winning the LUTZ.

[NeverBend]

My apologies but after uploading the two pics of the LUTZ First Prize I was unable to upload any more pics.

I put them on DropBox and this is a link to the folder. You may need to register with DropBox to see the them. Sorry for the inconvenience and don't mess with the other pics .

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ygdi08237...PGWko9K7a?dl=0

[NeverBend]

The horse belonged to a friend of mine. Sadly he passed away a few months ago. He was a retired show horse and quite friendly.

Hi Chris,

Sorry to hear of his passing. Magnificent, powerful and fragile all in the same package. Do you know what he died from?

Great placement on the star and a lovely head. A thoroughbred, yes?

Pete

[Chris0673]

Barling Prizes (2) 5579.jpgBarling Prizes (3) 5579.jpg

~1966 Barling #5579 canadian

First prize for winning the LUTZ.

This is a contest? Hmmmm...so whomever writes the best review wins?

Hi Chris,

Sorry to hear of his passing. Magnificent, powerful and fragile all in the same package. Do you know what he died from?

Great placement on the star and a lovely head. A thoroughbred, yes?

Pete

Yes, he was a thoroughbred stallion. Arabian, if I recall correctly. He died of old age.

[cbr310]

I would love to join but my review would be worthless. I can barely make out what flavor I'm getting now. I just know if I like it or not, though I would try my best, which probably sucks.

[NeverBend]

Story number 0 (zero) - mine doesn't count. Yours should be waaay shorter than mine but I hope that you'll indulge me for writing the long version.

A Day in Milan - A smoker's story

It was 1986 and it was the only time that my brother and I travelled together. When you go to Italy, for any any reason, you’d be foolish not to spend time taking in this magnificent country. So it was understood, whether we went together or alone that we added time and expected to have a blast along with work. He spoke the language and I butchered it but in Italy that doesn’t matter.

We imported pipes and I smoked them avidly but we travelled with cigars. It was inevitable that a customs guard would drop and damage the pipes and spill the tobacco. I prefer my Dunhill #965 without a topping of Eau de Dirt. Cigars hid well in shoes and in Europe, if found, they never interested customs. Besides, we always had a lot of pipes to carry home and our personal stock could cloud the issue. Once the cigars were gone, there’s nothing left to carry around, but while we were travelling they were precious. You’d understand this if you ever wanted to buy a cigar in Italy in 1986.

Our trips always started with Gino in Milan and then we’d go with him to spend a day with Gigi at his home and workshop.

On this trip, the next day was ours and we headed off, on foot, from Gino’s store at 32 Via Vitruvio for another of my brother’s meandering, “I know where we are” walks. It’s a good two miles but it took a couple of hours only made easier by our Te Amo Toro Maduros from our freshly stocked travel stash. He was always trying to prove that he knew Milan or Rome better than me and he usually proved the opposite. When we arrived I was a bit surly having barely started our second, very precious, cigar.

In 1986 the dining hall of the Monastery of Santa Maria delle Grazie had just begun it’s massive restoration and it’s humble facade gave no clue to the wonder inside, The Last Supper by Leonardo da Vinci. Once we were convinced that bringing the lit stogies inside might not be viewed favorably our priority became finding a suitable place to hide them awaiting our return. No stub left behind and these were barely started.

The back of the dining hall building looked nothing like a church. It’s brick construction looked more like a garden apartment and it had a small courtyard with a tree that had to two large branches that divided into a ‘Y’ at about eye level.

I slipped my cigar onto the mortar between two bricks on the ledge of a window that was just above my head and urged my brother to do the same but he knew better and he chose the ‘Y’ of the tree. If you weren’t seven feet tall you’d never be able to see my cigar but my brother’s butt was in plain sight.

We’re talking smoking here, not art, but there was no one except us in the dining hall to admire The Last Supper for twenty minutes before people started to arrive and it was sublime. I almost clubbed a Dutch dick who kept leaning over the scaffolding to see if he could touch the painting.

As we turned into the courtyard horror struck. A genuine, first issue, Italian bum with soiled pants that Mussolini must have been shot in was right in front of the tree, eyeballing the curious black stick cradled in the ‘Y’ of the branches.

I have no idea what the hell my brother yelled at this guy, other than ‘it’s mine’, but he was pissed.

The bum picked up the cigar.

I ran to the window and the brick ledge and reached up.

Bingo, no worries. It’s all good.

By now my brother and the bum were speaking rapid fire in Italian and then, with a flourish, the bum slipped the entire cigar into his mouth, rolled it around and produced it dripping with saliva. He extended the soaked stogie towards my brother and in clear Italian said, “Per favore, si fuma si” (please, you smoke it).

We took my route back to Gino’s store and made it in half the time. The rest of that cigar is one of the best smokes I’ve ever had.

[NeverBend]

I would love to join but my review would be worthless. I can barely make out what flavor I'm getting now. I just know if I like it or not, though I would try my best, which probably sucks.

Matt,

I just spent a few hours reviewing the rules and there's nothing about level of experience. By all means sign up but try MILD .

[NeverBend]

This is a contest? Hmmmm...so whomever writes the best review wins?
Yes, he was a thoroughbred stallion. Arabian, if I recall correctly. He died of old age.

And you could win another pipe with a simple story about pipes. (see below).

Old age is the way that any horse should go. It happens and glad that it wasn't something else.

It's a small picture but his face isn't dished (it's a thoroughbred face). If you ever get the chance could you find out his name and breed, I'd love to see his pedigree.