Do you really know cigar moochers?

[Ropey]

So the body of the latest CI email contains a link to some real cheap cigars with the following ad copy:

"This is one helluva deal, señor, with the added benefit of filling the dent those holiday moochers and shameless, self-prescribed 'aficionados' are making in your innocent humidor."

Let's forget for a moment the typical chummy, slap-you-on-the-back, obnoxiously friendly tone of the writing which is a topic unto itself. My question is:

Are there really people out there who have so many friends requesting cigars that they actually have to buy low quality stuff just to protect their better sticks?

Now, the copy doesn't say whether the fumas are for you or to be purchased to hand out to the "moochers" themselves. However. It's pretty typical for CI to mention moochers when they advertise low quality sticks and I believe it's a winking way of saying "These sticks suck, but at least they're cheap, so you can give them to others rather than giving them your good stuff."

(For further examples, see the ad copy for the "Bender Ender" sampler and "Gerant's Golden Siesta" on CI.com)

But personally, I know so few people who actually smoke cigars -- and I live in a large city -- that I try to give them good sticks, suited to their tastes, in the hopes that they will continue to smoke with me and perhaps even take up the hobby themselves.

I would be fascinated to hear about those who hand out so many cigars that it actually impacts their budget. I kind of wish I had that problem. Please tell me about your experiences.

[AndyCAYP]

I don't know any moochers, no. In person, especially, anyone I'm smoking with has access to my entire humidor - if I disliked you so much that I'd want to give you some of the junk CI passes off as budget cigars, I wouldn't be smoking with you in the first place.

To the larger topic at hand: it's CI's chosen sales tactic. I have my own way of marketing cigars, just as every other retailer does. I think it would be fun though, just once, to take their route. Maybe, just maybe:

"Hey, buddy... YOU, yeah, you! You're pretty smart. You're good looking, you have great taste, women everywhere are falling over themselves to kneel before you. We know you like cigars. We also know that you're soooooo insanely popular that there are literally thousands of lesser beta-males trying to hang out with you, and you're so damn generous that you give each and every one of them a cigar even though they're dirt and they don't deserve a sniff of your superior tobacco. What else do we know about you? You can spot an awesome value at a mile away because YOU'RE awesome! Yeah, that's right: YOU ARE AWESOME! So we have this great package all ready to go for you. It's filled with a bunch of crap you can give to the masses, and they'll be thankful for every inch - of which you have many, no doubt - and that in turn will make you thankful because the primo shelf in your humidor has gone untouched. That's the name of the game, buckaroo. You stock your humidor with handmade treasures and still appease the peasants with a cigar, even though it's total dogshit. They won't know... Anything coming from you is gold, buddy. GOLD!"

[Cardinal]

I don't know any moochers, no. In person, especially, anyone I'm smoking with has access to my entire humidor - if I disliked you so much that I'd want to give you some of the junk CI passes off as budget cigars, I wouldn't be smoking with you in the first place.

To the larger topic at hand: it's CI's chosen sales tactic. I have my own way of marketing cigars, just as every other retailer does. I think it would be fun though, just once, to take their route. Maybe, just maybe:

"Hey, buddy... YOU, yeah, you! You're pretty smart. You're good looking, you have great taste, women everywhere are falling over themselves to kneel before you. We know you like cigars. We also know that you're soooooo insanely popular that there are literally thousands of lesser beta-males trying to hang out with you, and you're so damn generous that you give each and every one of them a cigar even though they're dirt and they don't deserve a sniff of your superior tobacco. What else do we know about you? You can spot an awesome value at a mile away because YOU'RE awesome! Yeah, that's right: YOU ARE AWESOME! So we have this great package all ready to go for you. It's filled with a bunch of crap you can give to the masses, and they'll be thankful for every inch - of which you have many, no doubt - and that in turn will make you thankful because the primo shelf in your humidor has gone untouched. That's the name of the game, buckaroo. You stock your humidor with handmade treasures and still appease the peasants with a cigar, even though it's total dogshit. They won't know... Anything coming from you is gold, buddy. GOLD!"

Lol that's suck me right in for sure.

[droy1958]

I don't have any cigar friends because....
Nobody loves me....
Everybody hates me.....
I'm going to the garden to eat worms....
Yesterday I ate two smooth ones and one wooly one.....

[Sticky B]

I don't have any cigar friends because....
Nobody loves me....
Everybody hates me.....
I'm going to the garden to eat worms....
Yesterday I ate two smooth ones and one wooly one.....

Looks like we can be friends! But you gotta share that wooly worm with me

[allusred]

i don't have any cigar friends because....
Nobody loves me....
Everybody hates me.....
I'm going to the garden to eat worms....
Yesterday i ate two smooth ones and one wooly one.....

Bon appetit.

[Emperor Zurg]

"Hey, buddy... YOU, yeah, you! You're pretty smart. You're good looking, you have great taste, women everywhere are falling over themselves to kneel before you. We know you like cigars. We also know that you're soooooo insanely popular that there are literally thousands of lesser beta-males trying to hang out with you, and you're so damn generous that you give each and every one of them a cigar even though they're dirt and they don't deserve a sniff of your superior tobacco. What else do we know about you? You can spot an awesome value at a mile away because YOU'RE awesome! Yeah, that's right: YOU ARE AWESOME! So we have this great package all ready to go for you. It's filled with a bunch of crap you can give to the masses, and they'll be thankful for every inch - of which you have many, no doubt - and that in turn will make you thankful because the primo shelf in your humidor has gone untouched. That's the name of the game, buckaroo. You stock your humidor with handmade treasures and still appease the peasants with a cigar, even though it's total dogshit. They won't know... Anything coming from you is gold, buddy. GOLD!"

Holy crap, this Andy guy is SO AWESOME because he thinks I'M COOL!!!
Where is this sampler and put me down for 2!!!!

[bluenoser]

"Hey, buddy... YOU, yeah, you! You're pretty smart. You're good looking, you have great taste, women everywhere are falling over themselves to kneel before you. We know you like cigars. We also know that you're soooooo insanely popular that there are literally thousands of lesser beta-males trying to hang out with you, and you're so damn generous that you give each and every one of them a cigar even though they're dirt and they don't deserve a sniff of your superior tobacco. What else do we know about you? You can spot an awesome value at a mile away because YOU'RE awesome! Yeah, that's right: YOU ARE AWESOME! So we have this great package all ready to go for you. It's filled with a bunch of crap you can give to the masses, and they'll be thankful for every inch - of which you have many, no doubt - and that in turn will make you thankful because the primo shelf in your humidor has gone untouched. That's the name of the game, buckaroo. You stock your humidor with handmade treasures and still appease the peasants with a cigar, even though it's total dogshit. They won't know... Anything coming from you is gold, buddy. GOLD!"

I haven't had anyone attempt a mooching since getting into this hobby. That said all of my friends live about 5000km away and I only smoke at home. We don't have any friends around here to visit and the wife don't like anything to do with smoking so unless the kids start tryin to mooch I should be safe.

[Rocket Scientologist]

I haven't had anyone attempt a mooching since getting into this hobby. That said all of my friends live about 5000km away and I only smoke at home. We don't have any friends around here to visit and the wife don't like anything to do with smoking so unless the kids start tryin to mooch I should be safe.

5000km, oh you silly Canadians and your metric system.

[oleballcoachtn]

I do not have any moocher friends, just friends that only smoke cigars when we are together. I will give them a quality cigar first time around and depending on what they say about the flavor or how they handle the experience, I will make adjustments on the next cigar.

I have one friend that I know is going to smoke half of it, let it go out and then try to light it up later in the night or forget about it all together. He doesnt get the best cigars, just a random single I may not care to see halved then sitting. The funny thing is that his palate is way better than mine. He can tell me what flavors he is getting when smoking it.

Another friend takes the experience seriously and enjoys the routine of cutting, lighting, seeing how long he can go before it ashes, etc. He usually gets what I am smoking at the time. He is interested in the Shark and luckily I will have some on Saturday thanks to @D307P .