Quote Originally Posted by allusred View Post
Goodness David, I do most sincerely hope that you have not taken to drink and are now unable to understand text in the original High Mandarin Orange language of your childhood. As would seem the case you when posted this:

"Eye reckin' eyez kneed two have a nutter drank too d sigh four dat lass post...."

From Droy: "Well I had the Opus and a couple fingers of 9 year old whiskey. Nothing like my 21st birthday.
I'm still not sure what happened then, but they were cuties...."

Reply from Him: "Wuz aw maizes et furst.butt pon redin agin kin see yew din, lak ah furst thunkyew sayed them were *cooties."

Translation by Dr. Xue Ming: I was at first amazed.But after rereading realize that you meant that you had spent time with *cuties*

Reply ( second line ) from Him: "Wal yew bit older now, preci et thet glowin shine a thur Smokin Monkey's Sweet Innercent lil Girfrend's Monkey shines."

Translation by Dr. Xue Ming:You are a bit older now, and appreciate the glowing shine of Smoking Monkey's Sweet innocent Little Girlfriend's *Monkey Shines.*

Reply third and fourth lines from Him: "Dem whut upped stx en moved fur ways wen S. M. furst arrove."

Nows miisin out ever night wen yew a fiiddlin thar an S. Ms Girlfrend's screamin wit Joy th hole night tru.

Translation by Dr. Xue Ming: Those who packed and moved far away when Smoking Monkey arrived.
Are now missing every night when you (Droy) and Smoking Monkey's Girlfriend are screaming with joy the entire night."

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Definitions of * words.
*Cooties* Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them . When you get older, cooties becomes known as "STDs."

*Monkey Shines.* Tricks; japes and capers; pranks.

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David,
Are your twice monthly shipments via AliBaba arriving as scheduled?' Tiger Balm Ultra Strength' to be rubbed on the affected area three or four times nightly.
O lawd, eye juss hadent bean on hea enuff anne dunn loss da seacret langage of da munkay anne krazy peepole from Knew Jersay....Eyes bean werkin' da joy juice inne da' afeckted spots like ewe says. Kinda' hawt at tymes wenn eye werk da beens anne franks over. Reely don't want nuttin two doo with da smokin' munkee's gurl four a spell after applyin' inne a generous manner lyke ewe said. Bee sides, it be hard two be awl sexy runnin' down da street like eye doo when applied two liberallee. Eye mite have seen smoke comin out da caboose lass thyme eyes runnin two kool thangs off. Mite try a dose of mixed cayenne anne Sriracha sauce like ewe said for a "seekret love sauce" as da udder stuff seams two be moore dan eye kneed too warm thangs up rite now....