How did you get that picture of me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cigarer
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How did you get that picture of me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Cigarer
Sent from my LG-H900 using Tapatalk
There's a cure for all of that.Quote:
Originally Posted by droy1958
Gather the Baccky and Alkie, bed down with Smokin' Monkey's Girlfriend...ignore all else.
Hell thet Reality stuff ain't fer real, ya jes gotta git it outa yore haid.
Eye reckon' gettin' thangs outta' yer haid cures a lot of thangs fer a spell.......Quote:
Originally Posted by allusred
I thought this was a good fit for our Orgy. LOL!
5 Outrageous Characters You’ll Find at Every Herf
By Tommy Zman Zarzecki
Ah, the beloved Herf – a gathering of people who smoke cigars, imbibe some liquid goodness, maybe break some bread, and throw the proverbial bull for hours on end. It’s a most wonderful ritual, bringing folks from all walks of life together, who sit and do nothing, while accomplishing absolutely nothing… other than enjoying the camaraderie and having your loved ones yell when you arrive home stinking like a tire fire.
The Herf brings out smokers of every class, from newbie 101 to tobacco-toking veterans of decades gone past and everything in between. Now, when attending a decent sized gathering of ash masters, you’ll generally find 5 personality types – some will piss you off, some, you will gravitate to, and some of these leafy archetypes may actually be you. Now, see below, as I present to you these 5 most outrageous characters…
Moocher at every herf:
The Malevolent Moocher…He’s a conniving little shit, with beady eyes and a penchant for removing quality smokes from your travel humidor. You’ll find him and others like him at every damned herf, bumming the finest smokes, because he is indeed, a scathing, bottom feeding bum, 1st class. This miscreant joins his brothers and sisters of the leaf for a day or night of puffing pleasure, but there’s one thing that always seems to be missing… HIS OWN CIGARS! This prick is so cheap, he rides a crowded subway just to get his clothes pressed. He’s a bona fide puro predator, making every excuse why he forgot his box of Padron ‘26’s, because he knows you’ll pity the ingrate, while convincing you to relinquish a stick or two from your stash. Word to the wise… when you see this steaming tobacco turd slithering your way, make sure to just say no… that, and a swift kick to the jimmies will always send the proper message.
Cigar band flasher:
The Cigar Band Flasher…“Ooooh, look at me, look at me,” he’s saying with his gestures, as he waves his Opus X around like the checkered flag guy at the Indy 500. Five or six boxes of Cuban contraband sit on the stool next to him while he lets the entire bar know exactly how much he laid out for the Vegas Robainas that just came in from Geneva. While us regular folk have our bookies and ganja dealers, this Bolivar braggart has his Swiss connection on speed dial, speaking loudly into the phone so even the guys in the kitchen can hear that he’s putting in another hefty order for some real-deal Cohibas. Unless this brash boner is actually handing out his law-breaking bounty, I couldn’t give a rat’s ash about his pricey sticks, and I wish this sanctimonious gasbag would just STFU and enjoy the Herf.
Hand cigars out at a herf:
Mr. Benevolent…While your run of the mill Herf features a number of abrasive and unsavory cretins, Mr. Benevolent is here to save the day, while restoring your faith in humanity. This cheerful brother of the leaf is truly the real spirit of Herfiness as he totes his war chest of a travel humidor around, bringing enough premium aged goodness for everyone in attendance – yeah, even that mooching little son of a bitch. Plain and simple, the guy is a tobacco philanthropist. “Would you like a Fuente Don Carlos?” he asks with a smile on his face. “Perhaps a Black Market… oooh, wait, I have some really tasty Aging Room Maduros… just tell me what you like!” Compassionate, caring, generous and altruistic, this patron saint of sun grown goodness is a breath of fresh air in a room full of sweaty fat bastids in 6 XL t-shirts.
Dropping names at a herf:
The Notorious Name Dropper…He’s the ultimate fanboy of the cigar world, puffing away on the sticks of his favorite manufacturers while regaling the room with many a tale of hanging with stogie royalty. “Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was at Nick Perdomo’s house, playing his drums out on the veranda while getting shit faced on rum runners all night?,” he’ll ask, while a Perdomo 20th Anniversary dangles from his lying jaw. “Then there was the time Jonathan Drew invited me on a 125 foot yacht down in Miami and I beat Jose Blanco in a fried conch eating contest. Damn, those guys love me!” Do tell, my friend, do tell… “And then there was the night when… uh, hang on guys, Rocky’s calling me… yeah, hey Rock… you’re what? You’re naming your new Shih Tzu after me? Gosh, I don’t know what to say!” Well, I do – you’re completely full of Shinola! Now go hang out with the Cigar Band Flasher, ‘cuz you two bloviating bores will get along quite nicely.
No life herf:
No Life Larry…He shows his face at every Herf, every, every cigar-b-que, every cigar dinner, and every back yard gathering. Why? Because, as the name so clearly illustrates, this torpedo toking dullard has NO life. With all the social skills of an orangutan at a black tie brunch, he talks about cigars and only cigars – it’s all he knows and all he cares about. He has no time for movies or TV, the Dow Jones average bores him, he saw a Mets game once when he was in third grade, and he gets the snot beat out of him any time he’s ever talked about politics. Ask him if he thinks Obama Care should be repealed and his answer will be that Erik Espinosa is appearing at Stogie Planet next Saturday. Show him a picture of your kids and he’ll show you how his maduro is canoeing. Ask him what he does for a living and you’ll find out he watches movies all day on his iPad at the local cigar lounge. And ya think Larry’s ever kissed a girl? Come on, who has that kind of time when you’re planning your 132nd trip to Cigar Safari.
Good ole David K. ha ha haQuote:
Originally Posted by Cigarer
That's just wrong!!!!
Oh I know! He's going to ruin those shoes with the salt water and sand...Quote:
Originally Posted by penna stogey
I hope he does ruin his shoes, as he damn sure ruined that weenie roast I had planned for the grandkids this weekend. We're going for pizza now.....Quote:
Originally Posted by jhedrick83
Trying to get the stains outta that banana hammock is what's really wrong!Quote:
Originally Posted by penna stogey
To last years attendees...did you bring your own cigars to smoke at CI or did you purchase them all in the store?
I have a similar question. I don't have much stock and is it ok to buy a few smokes there and are they rested?
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I personal did both. Purchased quite a few, but also brought my travel humidor packed with my own.
Ok cool thanks. I know it is basically the rule that you don't bring your own sticks to smoke at a cigar lounge. And I am fine will buying stuff to support them but most of the stuff I like to smoke these days are definitely not available for sale at CI ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ciro
@projectsunfire CI is cool with the bringing sticks. They know the longer you stay the more cash you will drop. Once you browse their selection you know you will be walking out with a few cigars if you plan on it or not.
Member naow eef ya lak thet spell wot yore in, den the spell yore in while yore out, at's the spell ya wanna be in wen ya haint stuk in yore haid.Quote:
Originally Posted by droy1958
Hope thet heps sum.
Jes stay lubrikated an outa th Sun.Chameleon Tongue
Dagslabit. Cain't no kind how figger wots wrong wi thee.
Ya gits ta spen alla th time a lovin Smokin Monkey's Sweetan loverly Lil Girlfriend...wot moah duz yer wan?
Think whut it wod be lak ef ya wuz shacked up with thet Chameleon Tongued Muley Cypress...an she caint sing lak S.M'g Girfriend nokinda how no way atall.
Ain'r runnin outa Tigar Balm is ya?
Not to mention the $ spent at the bar to stay "hydrated".Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone
oh yeah forgot they have bars there. I am sure they will get plenty of my money 1 way or anotherQuote:
Originally Posted by jhedrick83
Kris, last year I know Brent, Collin and myself brought way too many of our own. We bought and smoked a lot there. But as mentioned above, CI is cool with you bringing in your own. We took our own travel humidors everyday.Quote:
Originally Posted by projectsunfire
Just remember guys, if you happen to be flying with a travel Humidor, make sure it has a pressure valve on it or it will be extremely hard to open and you may end up damaging your sticks inside trying to pry it open. I saw somewhere where a guy took a wide mouthed Nalgene bottle and threw a boveda in it. Not a bad idea! I'm trying to decide if I want to bring any or not. Trying to pack as lightly so I do carry on only. Although, I guess I could fill a laptop bag with cigars as they don't count towards your allotment.Quote:
Originally Posted by DogRockets
Not sure if it's worth it, but when I fly for travel, I usually just mail myself cigars/cutters/lighters a day or two ahead of time so it arrives the same day I do. No worries about the travel on my end!
and yeah, you can bring your own smokes, I brought 1 or 2 coolers last time, will probably do it again
as far as "are they rested"... mine are. I doubt the store's are. But then again, by day 2 or 3 (or late into day 1) you may be so burned out that you can't taste the difference anyway.
Remember, start with your best and work your way down (or go mild to strong)
Don't fuhgeddaboudit the Killer Bloody Mary Bar. Again, Noice.....
Eyes assoomin' yoar speekin' wordz of wizzdum oar inkouragmint oar sumptin'. Two dat', eye thank ewe very much az eyes alreddy feelin' bettoar. Kan't speek much of da Cypruss gurlie az eye start gettin' political and it makes my @$$ hurt cleen up two my neck wit' dat halfwit. Shee jus a life support system for a vagin@....Quote:
Originally Posted by allusred
Troof dat ya sez bout thet Chameleon tongued Muley Cypress...thet Chameleon tongue lak wood sandpaper yore skin musskels all dat ri doan t tha bone afore your evebones see thet snake pit ya speekin' 'bout.Quote:
Originally Posted by droy1958
Year of the Rooster from Davidoff are right 'spendeseif...bud thar be sum feathers fallin' lak th Crux Ninfamaniac thet y'all likelie kud puff on fer hour an harf wile S.M. s Girlfrend sings tew ya.
Smokin slow lak duz hincreez time 'way frum th GF...now's eye thunk a thet...hit kood be why SM dun tooken up smokin Hisselfen.
ah dun drniked th Coffee, th Snow fallin' all bout chair, gon burn sum baccky ri naow...RASS ah rekon...havin notickuled yor h'intersk in thet, even tho yah furgots thet ** most oftin like mos' times.
We can pretty much do whatever we want with you there Ryan. You own the place or something, don't you ? :yes!:Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone
I can see it now...Sean rolls in with a 100qt coolidor LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by SeanTheEvans
Never saw a travel humidor with a pressure valve. I'm most likely driving up so I will probably have a cooler filled up in the back of the GTI!Quote:
Originally Posted by jhedrick83
I was thinking the same thing about Sean. Rolls in, pulls out a stick and kicks back with his feet up on the cooler !Quote:
Originally Posted by projectsunfire
On a side note - is anyone else here going to seriously disappointed if Kris doesn't look exactly like his avatar, or just me ? :poke:
I get little love at the Hamburg location. CI Bethlehem superstore loves me. But that won't stop us from being the ballers we are and doing what we want. We straight out the alley bum style.Quote:
Originally Posted by WNYTONY
Prepare to be disappointed lolQuote:
Originally Posted by WNYTONY
Xikar makes a number of them. They basically look like Xikar branded Pelican cases.Quote:
Originally Posted by projectsunfire
Ain't no joke up in HamburgQuote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone
https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/04...8c3-wm.jpg?v=3
Say it ain't Tails from the Darkside...best to have Dog. Rockets & co in the vanguard at all times, keeping your rear safe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombstone
Yup. I''m sure I did spell T a i l s right.
Best choice if you're bringing exploding cigars.Quote:
Originally Posted by jhedrick83
[QUOTE=SeanTheEvans;154622]Ain't no joke up in Hamburg
Be careful not to trip and fall on your blade lest a certain accountant from Indiana wins up with your tip cup.
Rumor has it it was horseshoes fault..
http://i1072.photobucket.com/albums/...psmrqh2x2g.jpg
jhedrick leaving early for the orgy..
http://i1072.photobucket.com/albums/...ps6nqgiovu.jpg
With multiple Coolidors aboard no doubt.Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanS
To celebrate my 3500 post here.
Had to use the Caps this time.
Order NOW to be certain to get them in time for His Excellency's Orgy at Cigarfest to ensure the best days and night of your life, you may srtill find time for a cigar or two.
‘Gayuma’ still a Quiapo bestseller—but not for usual reasons | Inquirer News
Just think, really think about the story's title then read on.
Presented as a Pubic service for all planning to attend.
* * * Don't forget Pix or it didn't happen.
Jeremy is doing a little celebrating also, but how long would this cigar last Bob?
http://i1072.photobucket.com/albums/...pssbulflw3.jpg
Lessee shawl wee?Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanS
The wrapper leaf looks bit ruff...an who put the Condum on th ash...ah now, th plain band's th give-a -away.
Jeremy is in disquise, wearin shoes. But slips up lookin inter th sekurity cam'ra.
His Excellency Sir. Dog Rocker s shood a knowed better'n ta sen a wee lad to coleck wun a his Gurkha Spechuls.
Wen they got all dem lectrik lights thar.
E$Dit. @ AllanS. Look on back and read my post on " What did you smoke today (NC) II" from about 5 Pm yesterday.
Not going to claim to be super fast on the keyboard...but, did smoke that whole entire La Aroma de Cuba right on down to a tiny nub...in the time it took me type that post.
Can't see how you could claim that I'm a really slow smoker once you'd read that post.
All I'll say is my planes better have Tires on them!!Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanS
- - - Updated - - -
^^^ that's how you spot an LFD fanboy.Quote:
Originally Posted by AlanS