"I smell a cigar," she said....

[mi000ke]

My wife strongly dislikes the smell of my cigar smoking. I generally try to sneak in a smoke in the back yard while she is away at the gym most mornings, and have pretty much perfected a way to remove 99.9% of the smell from my mouth and body (tested and proven effective). Had one today as usual on a somewhat windy day, and finished by about 9:30 am. I go through my detoxification routine. She walks through the door at 10:30 am, one hour after I finished.

"I smell a cigar!" she says from across the room.

Incredulous, I reply, "Where?"

"Outside in the yard!" she exclaims.

One hour after smoking outside on a windy day.

I believe she has a future moonlighting as a contraband-seeking dog with US Customs in the future.

[Old Smokey]

Well, you have 4 choices IMO.

1) Continue living your miserable cigar existence as best you can, behind her back and hope she doesn't smell it.

2) Tell her that you enjoy an occasional cigar and want her support in your hobby.

3) Quit smoking cigars and cave to all of her demands.

4) Break her nose.

I am sure there are others.

[jhedrick83]

Well, you have 4 choices IMO.

1) Continue living your miserable cigar existence as best you can, behind her back and hope she doesn't smell it.

2) Tell her that you enjoy an occasional cigar and want her support in your hobby.

3) Quit smoking cigars and cave to all of her demands.

4) Break her nose.

I am sure there are others.

You forgot- train her to sniff out Truffles. Big money in that apparently, could fund the cigar habit.

Break her nose... Damn Steve...

[c.ortiz108]

My wife strongly dislikes the smell of my cigar smoking. I generally try to sneak in a smoke in the back yard while she is away at the gym most mornings, and have pretty much perfected a way to remove 99.9% of the smell from my mouth and body (tested and proven effective). Had one today as usual on a somewhat windy day, and finished by about 9:30 am. I go through my detoxification routine. She walks through the door at 10:30 am, one hour after I finished.

"I smell a cigar!" she says from across the room.

Incredulous, I reply, "Where?"

"Outside in the yard!" she exclaims.

One hour after smoking outside on a windy day.

I believe she has a future moonlighting as a contraband-seeking dog with US Customs in the future.

My wife is the same. Cannot stand pipe or cigar smell - even the unlit smell coming out of my closet. I don't feel I have to hide my smoking from her, but I pretty much know that unless I've eradicated any trace of the smell from myself afterwards... Well, let's just say marital activities will not be performed!

So, care to share your 99.9% effective method with us?

[Old Smokey]

You forgot- train her to sniff out Truffles. Big money in that apparently, could fund the cigar habit.

Break her nose... Damn Steve...

Oh, so I'm the bad guy!😀

[WNYTONY]

Oh, so I'm the bad guy!😀

Damn straight - a simple sinus infection will be very effective.......

Outside, an hour later, on a windy day - wow. I'm sorry to say this, but that's pretty impressive.

Look at c.ortiz108 trying to get a leg up on the defense ! LOL

[mi000ke]

My wife is the same. Cannot stand pipe or cigar smell - even the unlit smell coming out of my closet. I don't feel I have to hide my smoking from her, but I pretty much know that unless I've eradicated any trace of the smell from myself afterwards... Well, let's just say marital activities will not be performed!

So, care to share your 99.9% effective method with us?

Well, my situation is not totally awful, as she does know and reluctantly accepts that I'm doing something with the several hundred cigars stored in many tupperdors on a shelf in our basement. I just try to minimize her displeasure for the same reasons :)

My after-smoke detox routine (which sounds like it takes a lot more time than it actually does, and I actually like to get rid of the smell as well).

1. wash hands with Torcedor's Pride Activated Charcoal Soap With Spanish Cedar (purchased on Etsy from Livin Legend Soap Co )
2. wash around mouth and inside nostrils with same soap (nostrils are a dead give-away)
3. rinse nose with neti pot and saline solution (which I do most days anyway to deal with some sinus issues)
4. brush teeth, gums, palate, and tongue with baking soda
5. brush again with toothpaste (plus a peroxide booster to deal with staining)
6. rinse with whitening/peroxide mouthwash
7. shower
8. rinse mouth again with Smart Mouth mouthwash
9. 99% smell-free

At this point if I eat something, have a coffee, wait an hour - there is essentially no cigar smell at all. Kiss my wife hello when she returns, and not one comment (depending on the outside air quality, apparently). So I guess the last part is to make sure there is enough time after smoking for the wind to cleanse the back yard. Usually I'm done a couple of hours before she gets back. Yesterday she returned less than an hour after I stopped. Another lesson learned.

[Yarddog]

Well, if smoking cigars is something after you both said 'I do', I think her opinion counts. If, on the other hand, you were smoking cigars before that momentous event...smoke on...without regret.

[c.ortiz108]

Well, my situation is not totally awful, as she does know and reluctantly accepts that I'm doing something with the several hundred cigars stored in many tupperdors on a shelf in our basement. I just try to minimize her displeasure for the same reasons :)

My after-smoke detox routine (which sounds like it takes a lot more time than it actually does, and I actually like to get rid of the smell as well).

1. wash hands with Torcedor's Pride Activated Charcoal Soap With Spanish Cedar (purchased on Etsy from Livin Legend Soap Co )
2. wash around mouth and inside nostrils with same soap (nostrils are a dead give-away)
3. rinse nose with neti pot and saline solution (which I do most days anyway to deal with some sinus issues)
4. brush teeth, gums, palate, and tongue with baking soda
5. brush again with toothpaste (plus a peroxide booster to deal with staining)
6. rinse with whitening/peroxide mouthwash
7. shower
8. rinse mouth again with Smart Mouth mouthwash
9. 99% smell-free

At this point if I eat something, have a coffee, wait an hour - there is essentially no cigar smell at all. Kiss my wife hello when she returns, and not one comment (depending on the outside air quality, apparently). So I guess the last part is to make sure there is enough time after smoking for the wind to cleanse the back yard. Usually I'm done a couple of hours before she gets back. Yesterday she returned less than an hour after I stopped. Another lesson learned.
Yowza, that is quite a regime. Very true about nostrils - I swab mine out with lemon juice (and rinse my mouth with it, too) followed by mouthwash, and that works pretty well. Chewing parsley helps, too. Baking soda is hard on the gums so I avoid it. Hair is also an issue, and clothes so yeah, showering and changing are important if it was a strong stogie or Latakia blend. I've found that connecticut cigars and unflavored VA blends are easiest to deal with. I'll try that tar soap - sounds nice.

I actually don't have a problem with all this and empathize with my wife. If she had a strong garlicky salad dressing for lunch, or has tried some new foul-smelling shampoo or scent (like the one that smelled like mosquito repellant), I let her know. So it's a 2-way street. Plus, I'm not crazy about the tobacco after-smell and taste myself.

[Chad Vegas]

Damn straight - a simple sinus infection will be very effective.......

Outside, an hour later, on a windy day - wow. I'm sorry to say this, but that's pretty impressive.

Look at c.ortiz108 trying to get a leg up on the defense ! LOL

I doubt she could really smell it, it was probably women's intuition that alerted her that you were enjoying a smoke behind her back. My wife isn't thrilled about me smoking either, but as long as I make an effort to cover up the smell & keep my hygiene in check we remain at peace.

[droy1958]

I just have a bowl of beans and cabbage to spread my pheromones.....

[Ciro]

i believe she has a future moonlighting as a contraband-seeking dog with us customs in the future.

lmfao!!

[mi000ke]

I doubt she could really smell it, it was probably women's intuition that alerted her that you were enjoying a smoke behind her back. My wife isn't thrilled about me smoking either, but as long as I make an effort to cover up the smell & keep my hygiene in check we remain at peace.

Yeah - i kind of thought that too, but I've been on this routine for a few years now and this is a first. I mean, she sometimes comes home early and catches me, so she knows it's going on - but this had me wondering. Maybe she just took a shot and got lucky. We'll know soon enough cause when the rain stops in another day or so, I'm back to burning those bad boys. Like I said, I'm not planning to stop - just trying to minimize her displeasure and maximize my marital opportunities (IYKWIM).

[droy1958]

Yeah - i kind of thought that too, but I've been on this routine for a few years now and this is a first. I mean, she sometimes comes home early and catches me, so she knows it's going on - but this had me wondering. Maybe she just took a shot and got lucky. We'll know soon enough cause when the rain stops in another day or so, I'm back to burning those bad boys. Like I said, I'm not planning to stop - just trying to minimize her displeasure and maximize my marital opportunities (IYKWIM).

I'm an expert on marriage as I've done it many times. The best thing is to be honest with your wife so there's no secrets or hiding from each other. Nothing worse than sneaking around to have a smoke. Just ask my sixth wife......

[allusred]

I just have a bowl of beans and cabbage to spread my pheromones.....

Do so hope you share those treats with the Smokin Monkey, doubt he'd ever leave you them, sort of like to have an hold always.

[allusred]

I'm an expert on marriage as I've done it many times. The best thing is to be honest with your wife so there's no secrets or hiding from each other. Nothing worse than sneaking around to have a smoke. Just ask my sixth wife......

Maybe I should put it down to the Rum,but I'm begining to sense there may a (secret0 reason Ok is known as the "Fracking State"
Hope the drink has not made me mis spell that state slogan.

Oh, by the way...was it not Big Thunder who was the Chief of the Blanket Warhoops tribe?