PDA

View Full Version : How a baby duck ruined my Ave Maria Lionheart



cheaphumidors
07-29-2015, 06:51 AM
That's right, last week it was Gatorade popsicle ruining my cigar enjoyment, this weekend it was a baby duck. I believe the universe is conspiring against me...

There I was, Saturday afternoon on the back porch in my comfy smoking chair. I had just cracked a new book and lit an Ave Maria Lion heart. Life was good.

Then I see one of my dogs, Maxine, sniffing under one of the trees in the backyard. I figured she had just left one of her favorite sticks back there so I went back to reading. When I next looked up, there was my massive, ferocious, vicious, killer of a dog.... (yes, she is sweet to humans and other dogs, but any non-K9 being that enters our backyard is instantly killed, she is up to 9 squirrels and 17 opossums and one attempt on a cat)... nuzzling a baby duck. Not eating it, not killing it, nuzzling it.

My first thought, of course, is HOW THE HECK DID A DUCK GET HERE?! Our backyard is completely fenced in, with a 7ft fence and we are nowhere near a pond. So I did a quick perimeter check, made sure there wasn't a hole in the fence where baby ducks were pouring in, then did a search around the neighborhood looking for a mommy duck. Nothing.

So now I am stuck with a terrified duckling to contend with. Everyone knows that I am a sucker for animals. My husband and I were once the adoptive parents of a baby opossum for a few days until we could get her to a rescue facility. NOT DOING THAT AGAIN. So my husband and I jumped in the car and drove off to the local pet store (where we met the woman who ran the opossum rescue all those years ago), crossing our fingers that the opossum lady would take a duck.

Well, the opossum lady wasn't working that day, but, it just so happened, a woman who runs a BIRD rescue WAS working that day. She looked the poor thing over and noted that it was injured and the injuries explained how the little shit got in my backyard. A fricking hawk dropped her. She had wounds from the talons of a bird of prey on her. So this tiny little duck was just swimming in a pond, minding it's own business and a hawk swoops up and grabs her, flies her a couple of miles to my backyard, drops her 20 feet to her should be death and then flies off. Then my killer dog carries her away and brings her to me. I believe that is the luckiest duck on the planet.

So after all this, I went back to the porch and found that the cigar had split up the side due to sitting out for a few hours in the Florida humidity. Screw that duck

Upstatemax
07-29-2015, 07:28 AM
You can always light up another Ave Maria. But that is story that you can enjoy for a lifetime!

Just don't laugh about it while smoking a cigar. With your luck lately that hawk will come back, for you...

Old Smokey
07-29-2015, 07:47 AM
Now even the hawks are bombing you dinner. Should have smoked it.

Very cool story!

fiddlegrin
07-29-2015, 09:19 AM
Ha__!

Reminds me of a joke that ends:

"Two bucks for a Fxxxing Duck! :biggrin:

Zeede
07-29-2015, 12:47 PM
Any reason the duckling couldn't have sat in a box on a warm blanket while you finished the cigar? I mean, priorities :)

cheaphumidors
07-29-2015, 01:10 PM
Any reason the duckling couldn't have sat in a box on a warm blanket while you finished the cigar? I mean, priorities :)

Well, it was 6:30 and the pet store closes at 7 so... yea! I wasn't about to hang on to the thing for a night.

jhedrick83
07-29-2015, 01:23 PM
You could have kept it. My grandmother once had a pet duckling she got at the Tennessee Valley Fair. It supposedly followed her around the house like she was it's mother and the duckling swam in the bathtub every night. Once it hit a year old, she took it back to the pond at the fairgrounds and released it.

T.E.Fox
07-30-2015, 05:01 AM
Lucky duck!

cheaphumidors
07-30-2015, 06:32 AM
You could have kept it. My grandmother once had a pet duckling she got at the Tennessee Valley Fair. It supposedly followed her around the house like she was it's mother and the duckling swam in the bathtub every night. Once it hit a year old, she took it back to the pond at the fairgrounds and released it.

I had a pet duck as a kid and I adored her, until she was eaten by an alligator...
But three dogs and a baby duck in my house? No. Just no

jhedrick83
07-30-2015, 07:04 AM
I had a pet duck as a kid and I adored her, until she was eaten by an alligator...
But three dogs and a baby duck in my house? No. Just no

Oh my!

cheaphumidors
07-30-2015, 07:11 AM
Oh my!

Meh, circle of life, we lived on a pond with plenty of gators so who didn't see that coming?

TreySC
07-30-2015, 07:34 AM
Sucks about the cigar, but the glad the duck is ok. I think I'm more impressed with the dog getting 9 squirrels though she must be quick.

Old Smokey
07-30-2015, 08:54 PM
I am with Kayla on this one, baby ducks really piss me off and I hate them all. You go girl, I got cha back! We don't need no baby ducks!!!

That is what you mean, right?

WNYTONY
07-30-2015, 11:11 PM
Sucks about the cigar, but the glad the duck is ok. I think I'm more impressed with the dog getting 9 squirrels though she must be quick.

I agree. Ever since I told our Boston Terrier (who loves chasing the squirrels but has never got one) he was a wuss who couldn't catch a squirrel when Kayla's dog has 9... well he just sulks around the house now

cheaphumidors
07-31-2015, 06:27 AM
I agree. Ever since I told our Boston Terrier (who loves chasing the squirrels but has never got one) he was a wuss who couldn't catch a squirrel when Kayla's dog has 9... well he just sulks around the house now

Well, add 2 rabbits (she let these live, but caught them!) and another opossum (dead) to her list as of this morning.
Don't let your dog feel too bad, Maxine was living on the street for a couple of years before I found her so she had to hunt for her food, that makes a dog scrappy as heck! She hasn't caught a squirrel in the past year, that COULD be because I give them a loud knock on the window before I let her out, or because she is turning into a domesticated dog...

WNYTONY
07-31-2015, 06:49 AM
Well, add 2 rabbits (she let these live, but caught them!) and another opossum (dead) to her list as of this morning.
Don't let your dog feel too bad, Maxine was living on the street for a couple of years before I found her so she had to hunt for her food, that makes a dog scrappy as heck! She hasn't caught a squirrel in the past year, that COULD be because I give them a loud knock on the window before I let her out, or because she is turning into a domesticated dog...

Knock on the window - I can't tell him that ! I quietly open the back door so he can sneak out onto the porch. When he hits the doggie door that's the first inkling they have that he's coming and still nothing. And even with me standing there cheering him on with a hearty "go get em" !
Our lawn is too small and they can quickly get up on or thru the fence so he'll never get one, but I think he appreciates the support and hope I give him

So you going to update us on the duckling's condition ?

El Whedo
07-31-2015, 12:18 PM
I agree. Ever since I told our Boston Terrier (who loves chasing the squirrels but has never got one) he was a wuss who couldn't catch a squirrel when Kayla's dog has 9... well he just sulks around the house now

My last dog was a Boston Terrier. She passed on a bit over 4 years ago.

She made one capture that was truly incredible. She came inside through her dog door one afternoon and was making a funny noise in her mouth/throat and she wouldn't open her mouth. She kept head-butting me in the shin and scratching at me to get my attention. When I finally gave her my attention she opened her mouth and out flew an undamaged hummingbird!

It took quite a while to get the hummingbird outta the house, and Kibble took a few days to forgive me for releasing it.

cheaphumidors
07-31-2015, 02:28 PM
Knock on the window - I can't tell him that ! I quietly open the back door so he can sneak out onto the porch. When he hits the doggie door that's the first inkling they have that he's coming and still nothing. And even with me standing there cheering him on with a hearty "go get em" !
Our lawn is too small and they can quickly get up on or thru the fence so he'll never get one, but I think he appreciates the support and hope I give him

So you going to update us on the duckling's condition ?

Why? Why would you cheer him on? Do you know how unpleasant it is to clean up dead, disemboweled animals from your backyard?!

She's not my problem anymore, she was safely handed off to someone who knows what they are doing.

cheaphumidors
07-31-2015, 02:29 PM
My last dog was a Boston Terrier. She passed on a bit over 4 years ago.

She made one capture that was truly incredible. She came inside through her dog door one afternoon and was making a funny noise in her mouth/throat and she wouldn't open her mouth. She kept head-butting me in the shin and scratching at me to get my attention. When I finally gave her my attention she opened her mouth and out flew an undamaged hummingbird!

It took quite a while to get the hummingbird outta the house, and Kibble took a few days to forgive me for releasing it.

Oh man! I had to chase a sparrow out of our house one day, and that took FOREVER. I can't image trying to outmaneuver a hummingbird!

droy1958
07-31-2015, 05:58 PM
This thread reminds me of the time I was fishing a fast moving creek. The water was high from all the rain. Next thing I know, there's a boat full of ducks coming down the creek and were about to go under the bridge which didn't have much clearance because of the high water. I screamed at them to watch out for the bridge. All of a sudden the duck with the captains hat on turns around and yells at the other ducks. He yelled "PEOPLE"...

herman
07-31-2015, 11:11 PM
Why? Why would you cheer him on? Do you know how unpleasant it is to clean up dead, disemboweled animals from your backyard?!

She's not my problem anymore, she was safely handed off to someone who knows what they are doing.

Thanks. I moved down here with a larger domestic breed. I was walking her after a rain which makes the ducks come up, and one got spooked and started to fly off, but over my dog, so she leaped like 4 feet into the air and caught the duck by its wing.

I was shocked wide eyed seeing my house broken dog doing something so wild then rushed to save the duck. Luckily she didn't cause any visible damage and the duck went on its way, but every time I walk her if she sees a duck, rabbit, or squirrel she goes crazy and I usually give her a little slack to track and chase. I kind of feel bad cause she wants one so bad, but I just never let her catch em. I had no idea she had it in her until I moved down here.

Your story is gold though. Thanks for sharing this and I'm glad the forum police haven't request it get moved to an off topic section. :)

Zeede
08-01-2015, 01:31 AM
Haha, reminds me of the time I walked my dog once, and a rabbit bolted out from a bush in front of us and into one across the street. We just stopped and stared at each other like, "Huh, did you see that?"

stonecutter2
08-03-2015, 10:46 AM
That sucks about the cigar. I had an awesome stick I was enjoying during a round of golf last year that slipped out of my hand as we were driving between holes. Fell on the cart path and we immediately rolled over it and smashed it :( Made me sad. Hopefully the duck will be okay, being that lucky - it was even luckier someone like you cared enough to see it to someplace safe.

Speaking of crazy animal occurrences, My Dad opened the front door of their house to go out and get the mail one day. Our dog was laying in the living room. As the door opened, for whatever reason, a huge raccoon BOLTED into the house, and froze in the middle of the front room and stood up on its back legs. The dog lifted its head up and stared at it, and my Dad stared at in disbelief, too. Then the raccoon spun around and bolted out of the front door just as fast as it had come in. My Dad and the dog just looked at each other, still stunned, like "What the $%^& just happened?"

cheaphumidors
08-03-2015, 02:53 PM
That sucks about the cigar. I had an awesome stick I was enjoying during a round of golf last year that slipped out of my hand as we were driving between holes. Fell on the cart path and we immediately rolled over it and smashed it :( Made me sad. Hopefully the duck will be okay, being that lucky - it was even luckier someone like you cared enough to see it to someplace safe.

Speaking of crazy animal occurrences, My Dad opened the front door of their house to go out and get the mail one day. Our dog was laying in the living room. As the door opened, for whatever reason, a huge raccoon BOLTED into the house, and froze in the middle of the front room and stood up on its back legs. The dog lifted its head up and stared at it, and my Dad stared at in disbelief, too. Then the raccoon spun around and bolted out of the front door just as fast as it had come in. My Dad and the dog just looked at each other, still stunned, like "What the $%^& just happened?"

ANIMALS man! They crazy! I spent my lunch break today rescuing walking catfish from the road next to our warehouse! It has been raining for 20 days straight here so the cat fish are out and about, but they chose a really bad place to walk!

Upstatemax
08-03-2015, 04:24 PM
Thanks. I moved down here with a larger domestic breed. I was walking her after a rain which makes the ducks come up, and one got spooked and started to fly off, but over my dog, so she leaped like 4 feet into the air and caught the duck by its wing.

I was shocked wide eyed seeing my house broken dog doing something so wild then rushed to save the duck. Luckily she didn't cause any visible damage and the duck went on its way, but every time I walk her if she sees a duck, rabbit, or squirrel she goes crazy and I usually give her a little slack to track and chase. I kind of feel bad cause she wants one so bad, but I just never let her catch em. I had no idea she had it in her until I moved down here.

Your story is gold though. Thanks for sharing this and I'm glad the forum police haven't request it get moved to an off topic section. :)

Reminds me of my old German Shepherd...

She had a hate, HATE relationship with squirrels. Every morning I would open my french doors to the back yard and she would bolt out and just chase anything that moved. She was always 1/2 step behind the squirrels. They would bolt up a tree as soon as they heard the door open. Lol. On walks she was a total douche as soon as a squirrel was around.

One time, I picked up a stuffed squirrel from the local pet shop and put it in the middle of the living room so it would be one of the first things she saw when she came home. She freaked out, tossing it up in the air for like 20 minutes. She slept with that chewed up, de-stuffed toy till the end...

God I miss that big dumb dog!

Emperor Zurg
08-03-2015, 05:43 PM
ANIMALS man! They crazy! I spent my lunch break today rescuing walking catfish from the road next to our warehouse! It has been raining for 20 days straight here so the cat fish are out and about, but they chose a really bad place to walk!

Aren't those things invasive? Seems like the more of them squished, the better. It's like rescuing zebra mussels.

cheaphumidors
08-04-2015, 06:21 AM
Aren't those things invasive? Seems like the more of them squished, the better. It's like rescuing zebra mussels.

DANGIT! Didn't think of that. I didn't even think to look, fish aren't really my forte.

cheaphumidors
08-04-2015, 06:30 AM
DANGIT! Didn't think of that. I didn't even think to look, fish aren't really my forte.

But... let's face it. I would have rescued them even if I had known. I'm a sucker for any animals in need. I even save Cuban Anoles from my dogs. I know they are invasive and have destroyed the Green Anole population but I just can't let it happen :(

Emperor Zurg
08-04-2015, 07:44 AM
But... let's face it. I would have rescued them even if I had known. I'm a sucker for any animals in need...I just can't let it happen :(

You're just a softie :D :D
My wife would probably do the same thing.

cheaphumidors
08-04-2015, 10:31 AM
You're just a softie :D :D
My wife would probably do the same thing.

Yea, I am, but just for animals, not people!

LandonColby
08-04-2015, 02:09 PM
Lucky duck!

Beat me to it...

cheaphumidors
08-21-2015, 12:10 PM
Update on the baby duck.... :(

I just visited the pet store and spoke to the woman who took the poor thing. Apparently it died that night (she thinks of internal bleeding).

Just... fail :(

Lynn
08-21-2015, 01:55 PM
should have cooked it...

cheaphumidors
08-21-2015, 02:27 PM
All 2 ounces of it

Zeede
08-21-2015, 04:21 PM
Maybe it died of a broken heart when it learned what happened to your cigar? :)

Rocket Scientologist
08-21-2015, 05:11 PM
Maybe it died of a broken heart when it learned what happened to your cigar? :)

oh come on! Don't make the woman feel worse!
cheaphumidors you did what you could. Nature can be cruel.

droy1958
08-24-2015, 06:12 PM
oh come on! Don't make the woman feel worse!
cheaphumidors you did what you could. Nature can be cruel.

Nature IS cruel....Just be thankful we're on top of the food chain for the most part. Nothing worse than minding your own business chewing on a grasshopper or sumptin' and something comes by and eats your @$$....