Mixture No. 79 Review Contest Review Thread

[tmoran]

Please use this thread for all official contest reviews.

[cbr310]

Since Im the worst writer on this thread I May as well go first. I was out riding around Pa delivering truckloads of ethanol when I first learned the package had landed. I got home friday and forgot about it, thats how excited I was to get to it cause all the people having the most pleasant things to say about this "cherished blend" Going through the mail i found the envelope the happiness came in. Well here I sit saturday night ready to try it out. Figure Ill use a cob. At the first smell my fears went away and quickly loaded up a bowl. Kinda smelled the licorice a bit. a few charring lights and it was interesting, like nothing I ate,drank, or smoked before, but something familiar. Then it hit me, half kicked in the ass at the bar when you go into the bathroom was the familiar smell/taste of the famous urinal cake. No I never tasted one but you know what i mean when you can taste a smell. It wasnt the worst thing I ever tasted, that crown goes to my ex wife's cooking. After a relight or two, it started tasting like my grandma's perfume she used to wear, Not horrible to smell when she had it on but never thought or wanted to taste it. I tried smoking almost half this bad dude and cant do no more. My hats off to you mixture 79 on how the f@*k your still making a profit to keep producing this fine gem of a tobacco. If anyone would like my sample ill pass it on or give it to some high school kids like a old milwakee's best light, like a right of passage to manhood. Thanks Tim for making this interesting, it was fun and my curiosity is fullfilled.

[tmoran]

Thanks for the review! Glad you "enjoyed" it! I will probably write up a short review at the end of the contest, but my personal take is that it's really not that bad. I thought this was going to be one of those love it or hate it things, but I'm kind of in the middle. I don't think it's spectacular, and I most likely won't buy any more, but I don't find it nearly as offensive as some make it out to be. I found Ennerdale to be far worse. My XO says the room note is actually pretty good, and I can't ever smell tobacco when I'm smoking, so I'll have to take her word for it.

[bluenoser]

As I still consider myself a noob to pipe smoking I’m still not great at picking out what a tobacco has to offer. But I do enjoy trying new tobaccos and have yet to find one that I can truly say I dislike, therefore mixture 79 seemed an appropriate attempt at finding a dislikable tobacco.

When it first arrived I was unsure I wanted to give it a go. I mean really I did not want to put this stuff in my pipe. Look what it did to the envelop it was sent in!!!

http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww347/Gsxblaze/temporary_57.jpg (http://s734.photobucket.com/user/Gsxblaze/media/temporary_57.jpg.html)

Upon further investigation (reading the apology not from canadapost) I found out it did not actually dissolve the end of the envelop but the package was damaged in mail sorting.

http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww347/Gsxblaze/temporary_58.jpg (http://s734.photobucket.com/user/Gsxblaze/media/temporary_58.jpg.html)

Seeing that the plastic baggy it was shipped in was not damaged was no less worrisome leading me to believe the mail sorting machine wouldn’t even tackle this tobacco. I none the less mustered up the courage to give this a go tonight.

http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww347/Gsxblaze/temporary_59.jpg (http://s734.photobucket.com/user/Gsxblaze/media/temporary_59.jpg.html)

Attempting to load the m79 into my Brindisi (wish I had a cheap cob for experimenting) I was starting to wonder if indeed tmoran had sent tobacco or a baggy of potpourri as a joke to this unsuspecting canuck. Cautiously I decided I’d give it a go and try it anyway.

I allowed it to sit for approx. 5-10 minutes as it seemed a bit moist and then using the only method I’ve “mastered”, loaded the licorice/anise scented potpourri into the pipe with the swirl method.

I made my way out side to get started and to my surprise it lit rather easily. With all the hype about this magnificent blend I’m eager to give it a go…

http://i734.photobucket.com/albums/ww347/Gsxblaze/TABLET%20-%20WIN_20150614_192017.jpg (http://s734.photobucket.com/user/Gsxblaze/media/TABLET%20-%20WIN_20150614_192017.jpg.html)

At first there was little smoke, and the smell of my grandmother’s perfume on our way to church fills my nose. Perhaps it wasn’t perfume and she enjoyed a bowl of this prior to every Sunday morning service?
Rather strong room note as it’s all I can smell and I’m smoking outdoors with 20-30 km winds blowing. The smoke output really picked up and I was rather enjoying that. The perfuminess eased and turned to a salty floral taste. Like smoking salted flowers. I picked up a familiar flavor I’ve tasted in a few others, perhaps Lakeland?

Halfway through thoughts of cussing as a kid hit me and I can nearly taste the suds on the bar of soap, and an hour later I’m still tasting it.

Over all I’d say it’s not absolutely terrible. Possibly a small/half bowl would be nearly enjoyable for a quick smoke when in the presence of those not enjoying the aroma of tobacco. Head cold and want a smoke or not planning on really paying attention to the smoke (think cheap yard cigar) might be doable. Was a bit much for a full bowl on a nice evening out on the deck. Not going to rush out and buy some, and the sample I have will most likely not get used up, though I may try mixing some other blends in with it to see what horrible creations I’m capable of.

Thanks to tmoran for the inclusion on this to the neighbor to the north and the opportunity to satisfy my curiosity of this questionable baccy.

[tmoran]

Great review, Blake. I think the pic says it all :)

[Desertlifter]

Nice review - like tmoran said, the pic says it all! :lol:

Blending would be an interesting contest - worst Mixture 79 blend, anybody? Imagine mixing that half and half with Borkum Riff Cherry or something.....

[GWBowman]

Nice job, Blake. When I first saw that last picture, I wondered if that was your "eager to give it a go…" face. After reading further, I realized it was your "dear Lord, what have I done?" face. Very enjoyable review.

[c.ortiz108]

Blend: Mixture No. 79
Made by: Sutliff Tobacco Company
Blend type: Burley based aromatic, topped with Alcohol / Liquor, Anisette, Other / Misc, Vanilla, Whisky (according to tobaccoreviews).
Cut: ribbon

Manufacturer claim: “Steeped in tradition for over 70 years, Mixture No. 79 remains one of the finest pipe tobaccos ever produced. A mild and aromatic blend of all Burley tobaccos uniquely cased and cut in the traditional method. Discerning pipe smokers have made this a favorite for decades.”

Let me preface this by saying I’m a rank amateur when it comes to pipe smoking and have only tried a handful of blends. So far I’m not that crazy about aromatics, so this stuff is already at a disadvantage. On the other hand, I have a contrary nature, so if everyone says a tobacco is terrible I’m more than ready to like it!

Out of the bag the smell isn't offensive - sweet and rich like any number of aromatics. I’ve cleansed my palette (with watermelon, which is supposed to be good for that), settled on to the porch swing with my pipe, tamper and matches. I’m smoking this in a cob reserved for aromatics so no potential frilly ghosts will possess my good pipes. Rather than having a small taster first, I’ve packed up a healthy full bowl. Okay, here goes….

http://i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag187/cortiz108/P1140558_zpstka46vzr.jpg (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/cortiz108/media/P1140558_zpstka46vzr.jpg.html)

Yikes! Just in the first few light puffs of the first charring light I’m overwhelmed with soap. And it’s very soapy soap, too. But I will press on….

I’m not getting anything that reminds me of my grandmother, but that’s because she always doused herself with rose perfume. This is more like violet and lavender, but not in a pleasant way. It reminds me of that spray-can air freshener people use in bathrooms, which doesn’t actually freshen the air at all. Instead of covering up any bad smell, it just mingles with them in an unholy potpourri. I would be very surprised if this stuff were naturally flavored. There’s a definite chemical twang to the topping, enhancing the soap with an extra dimension of bitterness. Sutliff claims that “A topping of natural vanilla flavoring gives this basic pipe tobacco blend a soft, sweet aroma…” but there’s no vanilla taste, no sweetness, and nothing basic or natural about this blend except maybe the tobacco itself. Maybe. In fact, I’d classify this stuff as distinctly unnatural. I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t do.

There’s a fleeting, unexpected moment of pronounced hickory flavor, and for the briefest of moments I’m happily encouraged. But I’m doomed to disappointment – anything resembling any kind of pleasant flavor is gone before I know it, like the weeping, disappointed ghost of a child in some long-forgotten Victorian novel. Instead I’m left with a veritable symphony of soapy floral bitterness – a symphony played on an old warped 78rpm record, on the wrong speed. On an antique Victrola phonograph wound up by a mechanical monkey in a striped suit and vest who has lost his cymbals and is dementedly taking revenge on the record player.

Now I’m getting an odd flannel-like flavor coming through, like old pajamas. The room note isn’t nearly as bad as the flavors. But it’s not that great, either. There’s also a distinct waxy quality to the smoke, which enhances the overwhelming sensation of soap. My mouth really does feel like it’s being washed out with a bar of soap which leaves a waxy residue on my tongue. A lot of soap is made from lard, and I’m guessing that might be one of the secret ingredients of the mysterious Mixture No. 79.

Other than grandmother’s perfume, the other main description I’ve seen on a number of Mixture No. 79 reviews is “urinal cake.” I’m happy to report that I’m not getting that particular nuance. I prefer chocolate cake myself, but there’s none of that here either.

Now I’m noticing a strong black licorice flavor. Maybe it’s been there all along but I was too overwhelmed and dismayed with the floral soap to notice or care. It even has a similar effect on the tongue as eating strong black licorice. Not tongue-bite so much as tongue-numb. I expected this tobacco to be sickly sweet, but it’s not really sweet at all. That’s unfortunate because sickly sweetness might actually have helped. As it is, I have to say that this was worse than I ever could have imagined in my most deranged dreams.

It’s been a bright sunny day, and now all of a sudden it’s starting to rain. That often seems to happens when I smoke a bad pipe or a dog rocket.

Okay, this is really tasting like hell now. There’s an unpleasant charred taste added to the already complex array of horribleness, cranking the “bleccchh” factor up to 11. If this were a cigar I’d be desperately purging right about now, trying to salvage anything that might be good about it, but I guess that would make a mess with a pipe. So I’ll just tamp a little and carry on… in the name of science.

A few more minutes and I realize that nothing else is going on with this blend. It’s just shuffling along like a stubborn, crazy old lady at rush hour, oblivious to the passing of time and to the busy world around her. I don’t know if it’s just my tolerance decreasing, or if it really is getting more and more revolting with every puff. In a drug-like haze of tired confusion, my mind is grasping at straws now, and at one point I think I detect a nice woodiness coming through – but alas, it’s just the smell of a match going out.

I’m losing the will to live and can’t bring myself to relight again. I’ve done my duty getting through ¾ of the bowl.

I’m left feeling like I was jumped in an alley behind a nursing home by a bunch of old ladies, beaten half to death by them, wrapped like a mummy in hundreds of soiled old lace doilies, and dragged by skeleton-horses first though a flower garden then along fresh asphalt with my tongue hanging out. Other than that, I loved it!

In summary, I would wholeheartedly recommend Mixture No. 79 to my worst enemies, and to people who express a love for tobacco that tastes like soap, spray-can air freshener, unsweetened licorice, charcoal, flannel pajamas, and dirty doilies. This blend embodies some of life’s great mysteries: Why do they still make it? Who buys it? How could anyone ever like it?

As a new pipe smoker, I may not quite know what I like yet, but this gave me a pretty good idea of what I don’t like! Thanks tmoran for giving me the opportunity to try something I definitely would not have tried otherwise! Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Or so I've heard.

Postscript: After smoking this abomination, I tried to cleanse my palette (and my soul!) with some iced coffee, followed by a little EMP to restore my faith in tobacco. It didn’t work. That Mixture No. 79 clings to the tongue like millions of microscopic leeches marinated in flowery candle wax. The coffee and the EMP both tasted like Mixture 79, and I’m guessing my dinner will too.

[GWBowman]

Blend: Mixture No. 79
Made by: Sutliff Tobacco Company
Blend type: Burley based aromatic, topped with Alcohol / Liquor, Anisette, Other / Misc, Vanilla, Whisky (according to tobaccoreviews).
Cut: ribbon

Manufacturer claim: “Steeped in tradition for over 70 years, Mixture No. 79 remains one of the finest pipe tobaccos ever produced. A mild and aromatic blend of all Burley tobaccos uniquely cased and cut in the traditional method. Discerning pipe smokers have made this a favorite for decades.”

Let me preface this by saying I’m a rank amateur when it comes to pipe smoking and have only tried a handful of blends. So far I’m not that crazy about aromatics, so this stuff is already at a disadvantage. On the other hand, I have a contrary nature, so if everyone says a tobacco is terrible I’m more than ready to like it!

Out of the bag the smell isn't offensive - sweet and rich like any number of aromatics. I’ve cleansed my palette (with watermelon, which is supposed to be good for that), settled on to the porch swing with my pipe, tamper and matches. I’m smoking this in a cob reserved for aromatics so no potential frilly ghosts will possess my good pipes. Rather than having a small taster first, I’ve packed up a healthy full bowl. Okay, here goes….

http://i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag187/cortiz108/P1140558_zpstka46vzr.jpg (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/cortiz108/media/P1140558_zpstka46vzr.jpg.html)

Yikes! Just in the first few light puffs of the first charring light I’m overwhelmed with soap. And it’s very soapy soap, too. But I will press on….

I’m not getting anything that reminds me of my grandmother, but that’s because she always doused herself with rose perfume. This is more like violet and lavender, but not in a pleasant way. It reminds me of that spray-can air freshener people use in bathrooms, which doesn’t actually freshen the air at all. Instead of covering up any bad smell, it just mingles with them in an unholy potpourri. I would be very surprised if this stuff were naturally flavored. There’s a definite chemical twang to the topping, enhancing the soap with an extra dimension of bitterness. Sutliff claims that “A topping of natural vanilla flavoring gives this basic pipe tobacco blend a soft, sweet aroma…” but there’s no vanilla taste, no sweetness, and nothing basic or natural about this blend except maybe the tobacco itself. Maybe. In fact, I’d classify this stuff as distinctly unnatural. I feel like I’m being punished for something I didn’t do.

There’s a fleeting, unexpected moment of pronounced hickory flavor, and for the briefest of moments I’m happily encouraged. But I’m doomed to disappointment – anything resembling any kind of pleasant flavor is gone before I know it, like the weeping, disappointed ghost of a child in some long-forgotten Victorian novel. Instead I’m left with a veritable symphony of soapy floral bitterness – a symphony played on an old warped 78rpm record, on the wrong speed. On an antique Victrola phonograph wound up by a mechanical monkey in a striped suit and vest who has lost his cymbals and is dementedly taking revenge on the record player.

Now I’m getting an odd flannel-like flavor coming through, like old pajamas. The room note isn’t nearly as bad as the flavors. But it’s not that great, either. There’s also a distinct waxy quality to the smoke, which enhances the overwhelming sensation of soap. My mouth really does feel like it’s being washed out with a bar of soap which leaves a waxy residue on my tongue. A lot of soap is made from lard, and I’m guessing that might be one of the secret ingredients of the mysterious Mixture No. 79.

Other than grandmother’s perfume, the other main description I’ve seen on a number of Mixture No. 79 reviews is “urinal cake.” I’m happy to report that I’m not getting that particular nuance. I prefer chocolate cake myself, but there’s none of that here either.

Now I’m noticing a strong black licorice flavor. Maybe it’s been there all along but I was too overwhelmed and dismayed with the floral soap to notice or care. It even has a similar effect on the tongue as eating strong black licorice. Not tongue-bite so much as tongue-numb. I expected this tobacco to be sickly sweet, but it’s not really sweet at all. That’s unfortunate because sickly sweetness might actually have helped. As it is, I have to say that this was worse than I ever could have imagined in my most deranged dreams.

It’s been a bright sunny day, and now all of a sudden it’s starting to rain. That often seems to happens when I smoke a bad pipe or a dog rocket.

Okay, this is really tasting like hell now. There’s an unpleasant charred taste added to the already complex array of horribleness, cranking the “bleccchh” factor up to 11. If this were a cigar I’d be desperately purging right about now, trying to salvage anything that might be good about it, but I guess that would make a mess with a pipe. So I’ll just tamp a little and carry on… in the name of science.

A few more minutes and I realize that nothing else is going on with this blend. It’s just shuffling along like a stubborn, crazy old lady at rush hour, oblivious to the passing of time and to the busy world around her. I don’t know if it’s just my tolerance decreasing, or if it really is getting more and more revolting with every puff. In a drug-like haze of tired confusion, my mind is grasping at straws now, and at one point I think I detect a nice woodiness coming through – but alas, it’s just the smell of a match going out.

I’m losing the will to live and can’t bring myself to relight again. I’ve done my duty getting through ¾ of the bowl.

I’m left feeling like I was jumped in an alley behind a nursing home by a bunch of old ladies, beaten half to death by them, wrapped like a mummy in hundreds of soiled old lace doilies, and dragged by skeleton-horses first though a flower garden then along fresh asphalt with my tongue hanging out. Other than that, I loved it!

In summary, I would wholeheartedly recommend Mixture No. 79 to my worst enemies, and to people who express a love for tobacco that tastes like soap, spray-can air freshener, unsweetened licorice, charcoal, flannel pajamas, and dirty doilies. This blend embodies some of life’s great mysteries: Why do they still make it? Who buys it? How could anyone ever like it?

As a new pipe smoker, I may not quite know what I like yet, but this gave me a pretty good idea of what I don’t like! Thanks tmoran for giving me the opportunity to try something I definitely would not have tried otherwise! Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Or so I've heard.

Postscript: After smoking this abomination, I tried to cleanse my palette (and my soul!) with some iced coffee, followed by a little EMP to restore my faith in tobacco. It didn’t work. That Mixture No. 79 clings to the tongue like millions of microscopic leeches marinated in flowery candle wax. The coffee and the EMP both tasted like Mixture 79, and I’m guessing my dinner will too.

Very descriptive review and it kept me glued to it the whole read. Thanks.

[Usafvet509]

OK, now I'm just absolutely gobsmacked. At first, I was looking at it with mere trepidation, but y'all have me flat scared now

[tmoran]

Nicely done, Chico! I felt like I was there with you!

[Tobias Lutz]

I'll be posting mine this weekend. Sorry for the delay...things have been kinda crazy here.

[c.ortiz108]

OK, now I'm just absolutely gobsmacked. At first, I was looking at it with mere trepidation, but y'all have me flat scared now

If i had smoked this stuff before the bonus advertising mini-contest, my ad would have been simply:


http://i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag187/cortiz108/images_zpslkwgurxf.jpg (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/cortiz108/media/images_zpslkwgurxf.jpg.html)


Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

[Emperor Zurg]

Nicely done, Chico! I felt like I was there with you!

Me too. I could almost smell the stench thru the computer screen.

[GWBowman]

Tonight I am going to attempt to review Sutliff Mixture No. 79 in a MM Cob Legend. I'm sitting at the kitchen table typing this up as I smoke a bowl. At this point I'm on probably the sixth bowl, two in this pipe, one or two in a MM Cob Pony Express, and a couple of small meers. Struggling to say I've had two bowls the same, and wondering if I should have typed this up after the first bowl and been done.

The tobacco is coarse cut. In color, its is a mingling of tan, brown, and dark brown that almost appears black. While moist, it doesn't seem to moist to smoke. Most I've smoked was straight from the bag. I can only think of one time I put some out on a saucer to dry.
http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q610/GWBowman/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-06/03023357-8912-4286-A416-C7B3D4934BDA_zpsgqcyiuxp.jpg (http://s1166.photobucket.com/user/GWBowman/media/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-06/03023357-8912-4286-A416-C7B3D4934BDA_zpsgqcyiuxp.jpg.html)
I believe it to be a quality leaf that burns well. Why in the name of Sir Walter Raleigh anyone would want to put a perfectly good tobacco through...what ever Sutliff did, is completely beyond me. As I was loading the first bowl, my wife turned, sitting across the room, to ask "Are you smoking something?" I could tell she was not pleased with what she was smelling. When I told her, "Not yet. Just loading the bowl", she looked totally bewildered. About three bowls later, she comes by, mid bowl, and says "That smells good. What is it?" Upon telling her it was the same tobacco as a few nights before, the bewildered look returned.
The bag note seems to be waxy raisin flowers. Before each bowl I stick my nose in the bag. Don't know why, as I'm not one who gets a charge from being in pain, or even discomfort. Once or twice, thought it smelled ok. Can't remember what I was drinking or how much. Once it smelled bad, but generally it just confuses me. At the beginning of the first bowl, I picked up a slight black licorice taste. That pissed me off, because I like black licorice. Since I haven't picked it up since then, I blame something I read. Throughout this experience, I have tasted flowers, wax, soap, raisins, molasses, and a weird chemical taste. The chemical taste is new to me. I can't decide if I have ever tasted it before. Almost the taste you get, from the smell of a freshly cleaned school restroom. I'm thinking if you pressed this stuff, you could remarket it as Urinal Cake Flake. While most of these flavors I enjoy by themselves, when put together, I don't. Understanding this is speculation on my part, I imagine this is the taste a nanny goat gets, when cleaning a newborn kid. But only if the mother, while pregnant, was grazing near toxic waste, most likely coming across needles used to draw blood from a weasel that is suspected to have rabies. Of course only if the rabies was caught from a raccoon that has been feeding downstream from where a power plant has dumped the ash left from the boilers that run the turbines. But that is just speculation.
So to summarize, this wasn't near as bad as it was represented.
Once again I would like to thank Tim for another wonderful contest.
I'm now off the see if I have any scraps of Ennerdale Flake that can be mixed with this, just to see if the EPA is real.

[Usafvet509]

OK, I got brave:

Sutliff Mixture 79 review
Sniffing into the bag, I agree with all priors, I smell licorice and raisins, but I believe I get rum as well. Odd...
Packing the pipe and testing the cold draw, I taste licorice and tobacco.
Upon lighting, I am hit with harshness. It settles down, minimally, and the room note is floral and, hmm, cherry. Heather says it smells "sugary sweet."
The taste never settles on one thing, but it is chemical, floral, and the smell... Well, oddly, I pinpoint lava rocks and sauna?!
3178

I put it down after roughly 20 minutes. Not overwhelmingly negative, and I will try again. Not all that positive, either. I did put it in Heather's infused humidor rather than back into my pipe tupperdor. There ya have it, tmoran. A noob review

[c.ortiz108]

Tonight I am going to attempt to review Sutliff Mixture No. 79 in a MM Cob Legend. I'm sitting at the kitchen table typing this up as I smoke a bowl. At this point I'm on probably the sixth bowl, two in this pipe, one or two in a MM Cob Pony Express, and a couple of small meers. Struggling to say I've had two bowls the same, and wondering if I should have typed this up after the first bowl and been done.

The tobacco is coarse cut. In color, its is a mingling of tan, brown, and dark brown that almost appears black. While moist, it doesn't seem to moist to smoke. Most I've smoked was straight from the bag. I can only think of one time I put some out on a saucer to dry.
http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q610/GWBowman/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-06/03023357-8912-4286-A416-C7B3D4934BDA_zpsgqcyiuxp.jpg (http://s1166.photobucket.com/user/GWBowman/media/Mobile%20Uploads/2015-06/03023357-8912-4286-A416-C7B3D4934BDA_zpsgqcyiuxp.jpg.html)
I believe it to be a quality leaf that burns well. Why in the name of Sir Walter Raleigh anyone would want to put a perfectly good tobacco through...what ever Sutliff did, is completely beyond me. As I was loading the first bowl, my wife turned, sitting across the room, to ask "Are you smoking something?" I could tell she was not pleased with what she was smelling. When I told her, "Not yet. Just loading the bowl", she looked totally bewildered. About three bowls later, she comes by, mid bowl, and says "That smells good. What is it?" Upon telling her it was the same tobacco as a few nights before, the bewildered look returned.
The bag note seems to be waxy raisin flowers. Before each bowl I stick my nose in the bag. Don't know why, as I'm not one who gets a charge from being in pain, or even discomfort. Once or twice, thought it smelled ok. Can't remember what I was drinking or how much. Once it smelled bad, but generally it just confuses me. At the beginning of the first bowl, I picked up a slight black licorice taste. That pissed me off, because I like black licorice. Since I haven't picked it up since then, I blame something I read. Throughout this experience, I have tasted flowers, wax, soap, raisins, molasses, and a weird chemical taste. The chemical taste is new to me. I can't decide if I have ever tasted it before. Almost the taste you get, from the smell of a freshly cleaned school restroom. I'm thinking if you pressed this stuff, you could remarket it as Urinal Cake Flake. While most of these flavors I enjoy by themselves, when put together, I don't. Understanding this is speculation on my part, I imagine this is the taste a nanny goat gets, when cleaning a newborn kid. But only if the mother, while pregnant, was grazing near toxic waste, most likely coming across needles used to draw blood from a weasel that is suspected to have rabies. Of course only if the rabies was caught from a raccoon that has been feeding downstream from where a power plant has dumped the ash left from the boilers that run the turbines. But that is just speculation.
So to summarize, this wasn't near as bad as it was represented.
Once again I would like to thank Tim for another wonderful contest.
I'm now off the see if I have any scraps of Ennerdale Flake that can be mixed with this, just to see if the EPA is real.

Hilarious review, thanks!

[GWBowman]

OK, I got brave:

Sutliff Mixture 79 review
Sniffing into the bag, I agree with all priors, I smell licorice and raisins, but I believe I get rum as well. Odd...
Packing the pipe and testing the cold draw, I taste licorice and tobacco.
Upon lighting, I am hit with harshness. It settles down, minimally, and the room note is floral and, hmm, cherry. Heather says it smells "sugary sweet."
The taste never settles on one thing, but it is chemical, floral, and the smell... Well, oddly, I pinpoint lava rocks and sauna?!
3178

I put it down after roughly 20 minutes. Not overwhelmingly negative, and I will try again. Not all that positive, either. I did put it in Heather's infused humidor rather than back into my pipe tupperdor. There ya have it, tmoran. A noob review

Good review. Is that the far off look of deep contemplation, or chemical induced coma? I think I wobbled back and forth while smoking it. :lol:

[Usafvet509]

Contemplation. Took me a while to pinpoint that smell, but when you dump water on the lava rocks? That's what I got. Wet, steamy, hot wood and lava rocks. For Pete's sake.....

[Tobias Lutz]

I was trying to figure out how to do something different, and I decided to go "full retard".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q

I offer you four Mad Lib style compositions that abstractly present my views of Mixture no. 79:

A Note
Dear School Nurse:
Mixture Sutliff will not be attending school today. He has come down with a case of nausea and has horrible mongeese and a sweaty fever. We have made an appointment with the sanguine Dr. Gobbledygook, who studied for many years at the Gates Of Hell and has 79 degrees in pediatrics. He will send you all the information you need. Thank you!
Sincerely
Mrs. Slippery.

Inspired by Smelly Cat
Smelly Mixture 79, smelly Mixture 79
What are they smoking you?
Smelly Mixture 79, smelly Mixture 79
It`s not your pipe.

They won`t light you to the janitor.
You`re obviously not their yucky gerbil.
You may not be a paddle of mice,
And you`re no second cousin to those with testicles.

Smelly Mixture 79, smelly Mixture 79
What are they vomiting you?
Smelly Mixture 79, smelly Mixture 79
It`s not your chicken.

Fortune Cookies
- Smoke furiously without being violent.
- The Universe does not have goats -- it has speedos, and speedos can be revealing.
- The puffing of random salmon is too important to be left to chance.
- You can build a Mixture No. 79 with ninja stars, but you can`t sit on it for long.

Dirty Martini
Dirty Martinis are a good cocktail while you are on a date. Who can Rreject a dirty martini? First, get a martini billiard. Add Mixture No. 79 or Justin Bieber. Next, add some sheep and some walnut. Put it on a dog leash and drink. You can also have it hurled. Now steal. You can also go to the morgue and get one already made. Many celebrities like this drink including Kanye. Monkey see, monkey do!

And my genuine thoughts about the blend:

"The tobacco is interesting to look at. It is variegated in color and actually reminded me of some loose leaf tea blends I enjoy. Smelling it in the jar it had a scent similar to that of heavily topped cherry OTCs, but there was a unique chemical aspect that made it smell like an industrial air freshener. Supposedly the main toping is vanilla, but I couldn’t find that in the unlit odor. The moisture level was decent and the cut was consistent so it packed quite well. I chose to smoke it in a MM cob rather than risk ghosting one of my briars.
The initial light brought out a strong unnatural perfume like taste, but after a quick tamp and a second match it settled down a bit. Within two minutes however I realized this blend could bite hard if I didn’t puff cautiously. The tobacco burned VERY hot- to the point that the bowl of my cob was uncomfortable to touch after only 5 minutes. While the flavor wasn’t horrid, the heat of the bowl required me to sit the pipe aside momentarily to rest.
After a few minutes I relit and tried to pick out flavors. I could get a little whiskey and there was some honey like sweetness, but everything was muddled by the perfume nuance that still hung around with each puff. Before too long (another five minutes) the bowl was scorching hot again. I can only assume that the toppings used to concoct this blend are the reason it burns so damn hot because I wasn’t overly dry. Regardless, it made it difficult to enjoy. I finally worked my way to the bottom of the bowl on the fourth match but towards the end the mixture had hints of soapiness and vanilla (like powder room hand soap).
I would say that the best thing this blend has going for it is a fairly decent room note. I think the reason Hef endorsed this blend was because it smelled like his bunnies (unfortunately it tastes like their perfume as well)."

It either has or has never failed to deliver (depending on how you look at it) every time I've lit it up. It's bad but consistent; gross but predictable; challenging but unsurprising...it is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, shoved up a conundrum's butt (like a turducken). It is Mixture no. 79.

http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001775471/3828210209_polls_disgusted_kid_5813_691649_poll_xl arge_answer_2_xlarge.jpeg

[Lostmason]

Since the Post Office has decided that I truely do live here,I have recieved the afore mentioned Mixture #79.On opening the pouch
I was looking forward to notes of licorice, Nope, not even a hint.Maybe I need to go buy some licorice to smell it, Not a bad thing
I like licorice.Anyway, I took a sniff of the pouch and was reminded of when I was just a wee lil guy,I would climb up in Mammas
lap and snuggle close,putting my head on her shoulder and the aroma of sweat and Right Guard deoderant would fill my senses.
Now for most people this would be an UcK moment,but think of the security you felt when Mom had you in her arms.I took the
unstated advice and loaded my cob rather than a briar or meer,and lit up.Having to tamp and relight a couple time to get it going,
I decided to let it rest for a bit rather than use up my lighters.However in that fist attempt I did note the floral fragrence and quite
a bit of bite, The flavor wasn't as pronounced as I thought it would be, but the does seem to be a linguring quality that I have not
yet put a name to.Not really a bad taste,just kind of strange.I will post more later,but for now I'm going to smoke a bowl of my
Burley-Lite, Self flagelation will have to wait until after dinner,don't want to ruin the taste of my supper.

Thanks Tim, this should be fun !

[tmoran]

Since the Post Office has decided that I truely do live here,I have recieved the afore mentioned Mixture #79.On opening the pouch
I was looking forward to notes of licorice, Nope, not even a hint.Maybe I need to go buy some licorice to smell it, Not a bad thing
I like licorice.Anyway, I took a sniff of the pouch and was reminded of when I was just a wee lil guy,I would climb up in Mammas
lap and snuggle close,putting my head on her shoulder and the aroma of sweat and Right Guard deoderant would fill my senses.
Now for most people this would be an UcK moment,but think of the security you felt when Mom had you in her arms.I took the
unstated advice and loaded my cob rather than a briar or meer,and lit up.Having to tamp and relight a couple time to get it going,
I decided to let it rest for a bit rather than use up my lighters.However in that fist attempt I did note the floral fragrence and quite
a bit of bite, The flavor wasn't as pronounced as I thought it would be, but the does seem to be a linguring quality that I have not
yet put a name to.Not really a bad taste,just kind of strange.I will post more later,but for now I'm going to smoke a bowl of my
Burley-Lite, Self flagelation will have to wait until after dinner,don't want to ruin the taste of my supper.

Thanks Tim, this should be fun !

Glad it finally made it!

[Lostmason]

Ok, now I'm confused.I didn't taste the "perfume" but I did smell it in the room note.The feeling I got was more like ouzo than soap,it was a subtle burning along the edges of my tongue.I rather enjoyed the smoke,it had a smooth peppery nuttiness that went well with my ice tea.My wife thought the room note was like Fruity Pebbles and didn't send me outside.I must admit I finished the bowl after letting it rest for about 30 minutes,and it smoked well to a fine grey ash.I didn't smell any linguring in my cob,and the floral note hanging the room is quite pleasant.I guess it goes to show that tastes are truelly subjective,where Mixture #79 isn't one I would rush out to buy,I think I would keep it on hand for once or twice a year I'm feeling nostalgic.Thank You Tim for the opportunity to try this blend.(BTW,,,,I didn't find ENLIGHTNMENT)

[GWBowman]

Tobias Lutz and Lostmason Two more excellent reviews, just as I suspected were coming. Thanks guys.

[fastnbulbous]

WARNING: First Review Ever

So, Yes, I did it. (Cob for safety, easily replaceable)....

3231

3230

I am in the hate club. The flavor was just over-powering. Usually, when I smoke a pipe I am totally focused on the flavor of the tobacco and keeping the bowl lit (still a newbie). The whole time I smoked this I was trying to figure out what was going on. Flavors were all over the place, but not in a good way for me. I loved the experience, because, as I have said, I have loved everything that I have smoked. And this was not that.

A summary:
Urinal Cake - Yes, but I think that was influence of previous reviews
Potpourri - Yes, especially in the beginning of the Smoke.
Crayons - Got a faint whiff through the palette in the start of the smoke.
Church Incense - I grew up Catholic. The Incense they used in the Mass ceremonies was definitely present, maybe not through the whole smoke, but it popped for a bit. Crazy smell memories for that.

The smell/taste of Gramma Soap. Gramma was into fancy schmancy soaps. Memory smells again...

Nag Champa - Agarbatti (Blue white and red) burning incense - This was the Big one. I had a period of burning this stuff. It smelled like I was Smoking the incense half and half with tobacco. It was just overpowering in a pipe.

I usually prefer the beginning of the pipe and find myself struggling more with the bottom of the bowl. Not the case here! I thought it tasted better towards the end of the bowl than at the beginning.

So, In Conclusion. I would say that I hated this smoke. However it was worth smoking it, just to experience it. I don't think I would ever buy it. However I would probably smoke it again, just for the **its-n-giggles.

Does anyone want some??

An afterthought (since it took me 3 tries to get this up on the web (so I had too much time to think about it)) - The envelope it was sent in smelled much better after a couple of weeks. Also, there was a comment made about fake scent being present. I agree. It did not smell "natural".

[c.ortiz108]

I wish I'd tasted nag champa. That almost makes me want to try it again. Almost.

[JustTroItIn]

First I would like to apologize for how long it took me to post my review. Big stressful changes have been going on at work so my life has been a bit hectic that past month.

I have smoked about five bowls of the Mixture so far, all in the same ratty old MM Legend. Mixture 79 is kind of a rustic looking tobacco full of tiny specs of gold and dark brown.
http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd62/jclarke7/IMG_2667_zpsz9tagupe.jpg (http://s222.photobucket.com/user/jclarke7/media/IMG_2667_zpsz9tagupe.jpg.html)

From its reputation I was expecting a nauseating scent, but the initial bag note is a rather light inoffensive almost sugary sweetness. On initial light my first thoughts were not exactly "Eewww" but more confused. I taste a slight sweetness along with a predominantly floral note. Even so, the flavor was not super strong so I guess I would describe it as not unpleasant. As the bowl smokes down to the bottom the flavor does get a bit stronger and the taste a bit more chemical. I think the bowl is best dumped early, leaving some unburnt dottle.

http://i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd62/jclarke7/IMG_2793_zpswbkxtzjy.jpg (http://s222.photobucket.com/user/jclarke7/media/IMG_2793_zpswbkxtzjy.jpg.html)

Surprisingly, I didn't hate this stuff. I won't be rushing out to buy more but Mixture 79 is a smokeable tobacco. Enough so that I will be finishing my sample.

[Ropey]

Thanks for the review. Seems like this stuff is totally different for each person who smokes it. Perhaps it gives a smoker a look into his own soul.

[c.ortiz108]

Thanks for the review. Seems like this stuff is totally different for each person who smokes it. Perhaps it gives a smoker a look into his own soul.

God I hope not!

[Aguineapig]

This thread is super interesting. I wonder if anyone could compare it to Ennerdale flake-- which is another extremely flavored, potpourri, urinal cake, floral essence type smoke.

For what it's worth, I tried Ennerdale with a lot of reservation, but I absolutely loved it. Maybe Mixture 79 is like an OTC lakeland?

[GWBowman]

This thread is super interesting. I wonder if anyone could compare it to Ennerdale flake-- which is another extremely flavored, potpourri, urinal cake, floral essence type smoke.

For what it's worth, I tried Ennerdale with a lot of reservation, but I absolutely loved it. Maybe Mixture 79 is like an OTC lakeland?

IMHO Ennerdale had a stronger smell and taste, but it was more pleasant.

[tmoran]

I did an Ennerdale review contest on the old site. I hated Ennerdale, could barely smoke an entire bowl. The topping was completely overwhelming. Mix 79 is not nearly as strong, but Ennerdale uses much higher quality tobacco.

[Aguineapig]

Thanks for the comparisons. I too found the tobaccos in Ennerdale to be quite good, which is probably why I actually liked it, rather than consider it a novelty. I guess the bright side for me is that I can swoop into "tried Ennerdale, OMFG" threads, and trade the folks something I didn't happen to like to stock up for myself =D

[c.ortiz108]

Thanks for the comparisons. I too found the tobaccos in Ennerdale to be quite good, which is probably why I actually liked it, rather than consider it a novelty. I guess the bright side for me is that I can swoop into "tried Ennerdale, OMFG" threads, and trade the folks something I didn't happen to like to stock up for myself =D

Is that a hint....?

[Aguineapig]

Is that a hint....?

If someone's got some Ennerdale quarantined, I guess they could take it that way ;) Plenty of folks throw it away at any rate, which is a shame for a 55$ a pound baccy, as polarizing as it may be.

[c.ortiz108]

If someone's got some Ennerdale quarantined, I guess they could take it that way ;) Plenty of folks throw it away at any rate, which is a shame for a 55$ a pound baccy, as polarizing as it may be.

Oh, I gotcha. I was looking at it the other way around, thinking you had some you wanted to get rid of. It was late....