Pipe Quotation Contest

[Tobias Lutz]

I was reorganizing my study and realized I have a few more tins open than I can reasonably keep up with right now, so...I figured I'd give some away :pipe:

The contest is simple...post a quote about pipe smoking. For example, I wood-burned this one into my pipe rack: "A pipe is the fountain of contemplation."


I'll pick a winner and ship next weekend. You can enter one time, per day, so everyone has the chance to post 7 quotations before the cut-off next Saturday @ noon EST (4-25)

If you don't need more tobacco...enter anyway and I'll bomb whomever you choose if you are selected the winner!

Good luck :)

note: I don't really care who said it, so while you're free to attribute the quote to someone, quotes without attribution will not be docked during judging.

[Hermit]

"Every morning I wake up and think, good, another 24 hours' pipe-smoking."
JRR Tolkien

[Branzig]

I've always been fond of:

“Well, it keeps my hands busy, and my mouth shut.”

[cpmcdill]

"A man will give you a cigarette, offer you a cigar, but he never shares his pipe."

[BryGuySC]

A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
- C.S. Lewis

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/49/20/79/492079f452c95e46c17ae5b2d4ada591.jpg

[Lostmason]

That's the way it is,so put that in your pipe and smoke it !

[Hermit]

"I believe that pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgment in all human affairs."
-Albert Einstein

[El Whedo]

Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world. ~Irish Proverb

[c.ortiz108]

“A pipe is the fountain of contemplation, the source of pleasure, the companion of the wise; and the man who smokes, thinks like a philosopher and acts like a Samaritan.” - Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (who is also the guy responsible for the opening, "It was a dark and stormy night....")

Nice contest - thanks, Tobias!

[Alligator Gar]

Happy Mortal! he who knows
Pleasure which a Pipe bestows;
Curling Eddies climb the Room,
Wafting round a mild Perfume.

From: A pipe of tobacco : in imitation of six several authors.
by Isaac Hawkins Browne, 1705-1760.
Published 1744

1966

1967

[Branzig]

If BeBe Daniels said it, it is alright by me :love: :whistle:

http://i1328.photobucket.com/albums/w530/branzig/0fbc17779184e09003ee7519d76cc7a7_zpsjjsdkjz7.jpg (http://s1328.photobucket.com/user/branzig/media/0fbc17779184e09003ee7519d76cc7a7_zpsjjsdkjz7.jpg.h tml)

On another note, it sure is funny how much things have changed over the years :lol:

[cpmcdill]

"The further consequence I admit, was that I ruined my health, got heart disease, and am now an old woman. Probably you think that I'm much older than Hans, but the fact is that he's only two or three years younger than me and will never grow any older either, for at his work -- smoking his pipe, listening to the customers, knocking out his pipe again, and fetching an occasional pot of beer -- at that sort of work one doesn't grow old."
~Franz Kafka - The Castle

[Horsefeathers]

“Nowhere in the world will such a brotherly feeling of confidence be experienced as amongst those who sit together smoking their pipes.”
– The Results and Merits of Tobacco, 1844, Doctor Barnstein

[Horseshoe]

A bad situation can be made better with a pipe in hand.

[Basment_Shaman]

Chapter 07, The Surgeon General's Reports "Pipe smokers live longer than non smokers"

[Horsefeathers]

This is a long one, but a good one.

“The Moral Statistician.”
Originally published in Sketches, Old and New, 1893
I don’t want any of your statistics; I took your whole batch and lit my pipe with it.

I hate your kind of people. You are always ciphering out how much a man’s health is injured, and how much his intellect is impaired, and how many pitiful dollars and cents he wastes in the course of ninety-two years’ indulgence in the fatal practice of smoking; and in the equally fatal practice of drinking coffee; and in playing billiards occasionally; and in taking a glass of wine at dinner, etc. etc. And you are always figuring out how many women have been burned to death because of the dangerous fashion of wearing expansive hoops, etc. etc. You never see more than one side of the question.

You are blind to the fact that most old men in America smoke and drink coffee, although, according to your theory, they ought to have died young; and that hearty old Englishmen drink wine and survive it, and portly old Dutchmen both drink and smoke freely, and yet grow older and fatter all the time. And you never try to find out how much solid comfort, relaxation, and enjoyment a man derives from smoking in the course of a lifetime (which is worth ten times the money he would save by letting it alone), nor the appalling aggregate of happiness lost in a lifetime by your kind of people from not smoking. Of course you can save money by denying yourself all those little vicious enjoyments for fifty years; but then what can you do with it? What use can you put it to? Money can’t save your infinitesimal soul. All the use that money can be put to is to purchase comfort and enjoyment in this life; therefore, as you are an enemy to comfort and enjoyment where is the use of accumulating cash?
It won’t do for you to say that you can use it to better purpose in furnishing a good table, and in charities, and in supporting tract societies, because you know yourself that you people who have no petty vices are never known to give away a cent, and that you stint yourselves so in the matter of food that you are always feeble and hungry. And you never dare to laugh in the daytime for fear some poor wretch, seeing you in a good humor, will try to borrow a dollar of you; and in church you are always down on your knees, with your ears buried in the cushion, when the contribution-box comes around; and you never give the revenue officers a full statement of your income.

Now you know all these things yourself, don’t you? Very well, then, what is the use of your stringing out your miserable lives to a lean and withered old age? What is the use of your saving money that is so utterly worthless to you? In a word, why don’t you go off somewhere and die, and not be always trying to seduce people into becoming as ornery and unlovable as you are yourselves, by your villainous “moral statistics”?

Now, I don’t approve of dissipation, and I don’t indulge in it either; but I haven’t a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices. And so I don’t want to hear from you any more. I think you are the very same man who read me a long lecture last week about the degrading vice of smoking cigars, and then came back, in my absence, with your reprehensible fire-proof gloves on, and carried off my beautiful parlor stove.
- Mark Twain

[El Whedo]

Coffee and tobacco are complete repose. ~Turkish Proverb

[c.ortiz108]

“The pipe marks the point at which the orangutan ends and man begins.” -Ben Jonson

[bluenoser]

I'm not a religious person but did like this one,

"I believe that many who find that ‘nothing happens’ when they sit down, or kneel down, to a book of devotion, would find that the heart sings unbidden while they are working their way through a tough bit of theology with a pipe in their teeth and a pencil in their hand.” ― C.S. Lewis

[BryGuySC]

"For my part, I consider that tobacco, in moderation, is a sweetener and equalizer of the temper.”
-Thomas Henry Huxley

[Hermit]

"If you can't send money, send tobacco."
-George Washington to the Continental Congress, 1776

[Alligator Gar]

"When you pray with this pipe, you pray for everything in the universe, and everything in the universe prays with you."
-Black Elk, Holy Man of the Oglalas

[Branzig]

"May my last breath be drawn through a pipe, and exhaled in a jest."

-Charles Lamb

[cpmcdill]

"Pipes are occasionally of extraordinary interest. Nothing has more individuality save, perhaps, watches and bootlaces."
Arthur Conan Doyle - The Yellow Face

[Scott W.]

Nothing like the first pipe of the morning!

Dr. Watson in Sherlock Holmes and the house of fear

[Basment_Shaman]

The thinking man smokes a Peterson2000

[Alligator Gar]

Bit of a stretch...
Warning: contains one grown up word.

http://i.imgur.com/NX4cdmU.png

[El Whedo]

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen

[Horsefeathers]

Bit of a stretch...
Warning: contains one grown up word.

http://i.imgur.com/NX4cdmU.png
Hahaha, so funny you posted this. I saw this a while ago and now have a running gag with the wife where we tell each other "You would not survive the attempt."

Also, "On land, on sea, at home abroad
I smoke my pipe and worship God."
-Johann Sebastian Bach

[c.ortiz108]

"The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of the foolish: it generates a style of conversation, contemplative, thoughtful, benevolent, and unaffected." - William Makepeace Thackery

[Branzig]

http://i1328.photobucket.com/albums/w530/branzig/e7a8062b-496d-4aa4-8211-fd13d36c8b84_zps7chx2unl.png (http://s1328.photobucket.com/user/branzig/media/e7a8062b-496d-4aa4-8211-fd13d36c8b84_zps7chx2unl.png.html)

[BryGuySC]

I'm going a different direction with today's entry. This will be the pipe-related quote that that means the most to me.

Your ready?

Here goes.

"Ok. I guess it's fine."
-my wife, giving me her "blessing" to smoke a pipe

[Hermit]

“I always hire a cheap man–a man who doesn't amount to much,
anyhow–who would be as well–or better–dead, and let him break in the
pipe for me. I get him to smoke the pipe for a couple of weeks, then put
in a new stem, and continue operations as long as the pipe holds together.”
Mark Twain

[Basment_Shaman]

IN FAVOR OF TOBACCO

Much victuals serves for gluttony
To fatten men like swine;
But he's a frugal man indeed
That with a leaf can dine.
And needs no napkin for his hands,
His fingers' ends to wipe,
But keeps his kitchen in a box,
And roast meat in a pipe.
-Samuel Rowlands (1611)

[Tobias Lutz]

Man- you guys are going to make for some difficult judging :) I might have to do an honorable mention in addition to the winner.

[Horsefeathers]

“Pipe smoking is the most protracted of all forms of tobacco consumption. It may explain why pipe smokers are generally regarded as patient men–and philosophers.”
-Jerome E. Brooks, from The Mighty Leaf, Tobacco Through the Centuries

[c.ortiz108]

The pipe, with solemn interposing puff,
Makes half a sentence at a time enough;
The dozing sages drop the drowsy strain,
Then pause, and puff -- and speak, and pause again. - William Cowper (1731-1800)

[Hermit]

"It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake."
Mark Twain

[cbr310]

"When I light up my pipe, everyone in the house goes upstairs. This is when it gets calm with peace and quiet, and me and my old friend recliner can reunite." ~ cbr310

[Basment_Shaman]

"they'll have to pry my pipe from my 93-year-old paws" Mouse 4/5/15

[c.ortiz108]

“Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.” - Jerome K. Jerome

I think is my favorite so far.

[Alligator Gar]

http://i1328.photobucket.com/albums/w530/branzig/e7a8062b-496d-4aa4-8211-fd13d36c8b84_zps7chx2unl.png (http://s1328.photobucket.com/user/branzig/media/e7a8062b-496d-4aa4-8211-fd13d36c8b84_zps7chx2unl.png.html)

2035

Praise Bob.

[Alligator Gar]

http://i.imgur.com/wwShW7Z.png

[Nature]

When I would find myself caught in a traffic jam, I would curse at the situation and the idiot drivers that were causing it. Now when I find myself in a delay, I sigh and say "I wish I had packed a bigger pipe."

-- Nature 2015

[Hermit]

"Certain things are good for nothing until they have been kept for a long while; and some are good for nothing until they have been long kept and used. Of the first, wine is the illustrious and immortal example. Of those which must be kept and used I will name three-- meerschaum pipes, violins, and poems. The meerschaum is but a poor affair until it has burned a thousand offerings to the cloud-compelling deities...The fire is lighted in its central shrine, and gradually the juices which the broad leaves of the Great Vegetable has sucked up from an acre and curdled into a dram are diffused through its thirsting pores."
-Oliver W. Holmes, The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table

[Branzig]

"Woman! It is my health and my home! I do what I want! Now if you will excuse me, I have to go fold the laundry, finish the dishes, give the kids a bath, vacuum the living room, cook dinner...and then? Oh yeah, then I am going to go smoke a pipe! Hah!"

- Dr. Branzig :p

[Basment_Shaman]

Smoking Pipes and using Snuff that is what old men do. I said how do you think they got to be so old
-Basement_Shaman-

[cpmcdill]

"In A Personal Record, I think, Conrad told us that it was there, in lodgings, that his career as a writer began, while he was waiting for the landlady's daughter to clear away the breakfast tray. And I can understand the scene perfectly: for it is after breakfast in London lodgings, after tea and bacon and toast, to be precise, when you are lighting your pipe and warming the slack of your breeks at a miniscule warmth of coals, that one can feel most easily the flowing movement of mind that presages authorship."
--Christopher Morley, The Romany Stain

[c.ortiz108]

"Tobacco is a companion in solitude; it is a storehouse for reflection and gives time for the fumes of wrath to disperse."

-Japanese saying

[BryGuySC]

"Loud pipes save lives!"


Oh, wait. Maybe this is the wrong thread.

[El Whedo]

Allah made tobacco grow to put a smile on the faces of men. ~Turkish proverb

[c.ortiz108]

"I have some friends, some honest friends, and honest friends are few;
My pipe of briar, my open fire, A book that's not too new."

-Robert Service

[Branzig]

"For, when Stubb dressed, instead of first putting his legs into his trowsers, he put his pipe into his mouth."

-Moby Dick

[cpmcdill]

"After dinner Dad would light his briarwood pipe, the smoke curling about his head and drifting in blue layers up to the fake Chippendale mirror, blending with smells of roast beef and gravy. Presently he would pick up the thread again, expounding upon his theory that all kids should be put on ice until they were twenty-one."
--Shirley MacLaine

[Hermit]

"...when they used to tell me I would shorten my life ten years by smoking,
they little knew the devotee they were wasting their puerile word upon -- they
little knew how trivial and valueless I would regard a decade that had no smoking in it!"
Mark Twain - letter to Joseph Twichell, 19 Dec 1870

[Tobias Lutz]

"If you can't send money, send tobacco."
-George Washington to the Continental Congress, 1776


"Tobacco is a companion in solitude; it is a storehouse for reflection and gives time for the fumes of wrath to disperse."

-Japanese saying

Your winners!!!

Hermit
c.ortiz108

PM me your address and your prize boxes will be airborne on Monday morning. :pipe:

Thanks everyone for playing, I've picked up some great quotes!

[c.ortiz108]

Yayyy! Thanks, Tobias! I really liked that quote, too. I have exactly one tobacco blend and that's all I've tried so far, so looking forward to whatever you send. Sending pm.

[Tobias Lutz]

Yayyy! Thanks, Tobias! I really liked that quote, too. I have exactly one tobacco blend and that's all I've tried so far, so looking forward to whatever you send. Sending pm.

Ahhhh, well you're in luck my friend. I packed up 15 ounces of samples, each, for you and our other winner. :pipe:

[c.ortiz108]

15!? :jaw:

[Branzig]

Congrats guys!

Enjoy 'em!

:pipe:

[GWBowman]

Congratulations fellows and thanks for another contest Tobias Lutz

[Tobias Lutz]

Well...in a very cool move of generosity, Hermit noticed Chico's comment about only having tried one type of tobacco, and asked me to send his winnings to him as well. c.ortiz108 , gird your mailbox... you have almost two pounds of tobacco coming your way :)

[Lostmason]

Congrats guys,Great quotes ! Thank you Tobias, and good show Hermit very generous of you as well.

[c.ortiz108]

Well...in a very cool move of generosity, Hermit noticed Chico's comment about only having tried one type of tobacco, and asked me to send his winnings to him as well. c.ortiz108 , gird your mailbox... you have almost two pounds of tobacco coming your way :)

What? Seriously? Come on, guys... Thanks for the gesture but Hermit won fair and square, too, and should share in Tobias' generosity. Two pounds of tobacco would last me years!

[BryGuySC]

What? Seriously? Come on, guys... Thanks for the gesture but Hermit won fair and square, too, and should share in Tobias' generosity. Two pounds of tobacco would last me years!

1. Try it all.
2. Discover what you like.
3. Jar up your favs.
4. Bomb out the tobaccos that aren't your style
5. ???
6. Profit!

[Tobias Lutz]

What? Seriously? Come on, guys... Thanks for the gesture but Hermit won fair and square, too, and should share in Tobias' generosity. Two pounds of tobacco would last me years!

Don't worry about him- I sent him a little something anyway...but there is no way in hell I'm unpacking those boxes a third time!

[c.ortiz108]

Glad to hear it, Tobias. I'd hate for him to go away empty handed. Jeez, a guy sure needs to watch what he says around here....
BryGuySC, I like your first 4 suggestions!

[Hermit]

Don't worry about him- I sent him a little something anyway...but there is no way in hell I'm unpacking those boxes a third time!


There was a lovely surprise in my PO Box today.
Did Tobias read my mind, like those Google targeted ads? :ask:
He sent a nice bag of Christmas Cheer 2000 to a Virginia lover.
Thanks! That hits the spot! :thumb:

[c.ortiz108]

When Tobias runs a contest, he doesn't kid around. I've seen evidence of his generosity here and at our previous home, but had never been a victim of it.... Until now. At first I thought that wonderful fruity aroma was left over from the health bars packaging, and so did my dog.

http://i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag187/cortiz108/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_00000430_zpsw8stzwe9.jpg (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/cortiz108/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_00000430_zpsw8stzwe9.jpg.html)

But this is what came tumbling out

http://i1368.photobucket.com/albums/ag187/cortiz108/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_00000432_zpswkyn7wzz.jpg (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/cortiz108/media/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_00000432_zpswkyn7wzz.jpg.html)

Thanks so much for this amazing prize, Tobias! Looking forward to trying all of them, and learning about them too. This will definitely shorten my pipe noob period (assuming I can keep it lit). Any particular one you'd recommend starting with?

And thanks Hermit, too, for generously passing your winnings on to me. This means I have double the tobacco, and probably enough to last through next winter!

[GWBowman]

That's fantastic. Congratulations again. Nice job Tobias.