Building Relationships through a Cigar...

[Nature]

I found a new smoking companion. Some may call it recruited or corrupted..

It began this last summer. Prior to my oldest daughter's wedding, I attended my Future Son's-In-Law bachelor party, at least the cookout prior to the party bus. Of course, I did my part to assist the celebration and brought several cigars for the groom's party and anyone else interested. My provisions primarily included AF Short Stories that were mild, tasty, and short in duration for the cigar naive. It was quite enjoyable watching the awkwardness how the cigars were handled, smoked, and hearing the reports of a few having mild symptoms of nic sickness and the buzz.

Fast forward to last week when my Son-in-law approaches me and says we need to go out to have a cigar one night. This caught me quite by surprise as I did not realize that he had enjoyed his bachelor party cigar that much. He said he had been thinking about it since then and recently had an opportunity to smoke a cigar with a friend at an area Cigar Lounge. We weren't able to get it scheduled that night due to the lateness we arrived home and I was just plain worn out from the traveling and still recovering from a cold. So again, he is at our place the other night and he asks if we can go have a cigar. I had just returned home in the evening from joining my friends from work for our weekly herf at a favorite lounge, so again I declined, but said that perhaps tomorrow we could. Today while driving home from work, I get a text from him saying that he is free for that cigar and would be heading over. I knew I could not put this off any longer. It wasn't that I didn't want to, just that with a larger family there are many other obligations that interfere. Despite having errands to run and kids to pick up from activities, my wife graciously says that she could manage the home-front and that we should go.

We chose a cigar lounge that is only a few blocks from my home. On the way, I talked about cigars, asking what he had tried before and if he liked it. We entered the walk-in humidor at the lounge where the attendant and I guided him on a cigar choice. I mentioned a few others that I enjoy. He settled on a Punch Rare Corojo. I selected a LADC Mi Amore.

We sat around a table, smoked our cigars, and enjoyed some accompanying drinks. I showed him some basics of cutting the cigar, how to properly toast and light, and even introduced him to retrohaling, which he accomplished. I had opportunities to chat with him during our affair to discuss his future plans, and of course to offer my fatherly advice with the best interest of my daughter in mind. ;)

We finished up and returned to my home, where I revealed my cigar collection to him. He had mentioned during the evening that he might be interested in acquiring a humidor, because there have recently been times he wanted a cigar but didn't have any around. I then proceeded to go through my cache and selected a handful of sticks for him to try. I grabbed a Boveda pack for storage, located an extra cutter I had and placed them all in a zippered baggie with instructions to put in a sealed container when he arrived home.

I haven't had many serious conversations with this young man prior, but thanks to the introduction of a cigar, I found that I now had an avenue to get him aside and have these bonding and guiding encounters. Besides, now I have another companion to justify going out to have a cigar!

You never know where the introduction to a cigar will lead.

[nick6659]

I found a new smoking companion. Some may call it recruited or corrupted..

It began this last summer. Prior to my oldest daughter's wedding, I attended my Future Son's-In-Law bachelor party, at least the cookout prior to the party bus. Of course, I did my part to assist the celebration and brought several cigars for the groom's party and anyone else interested. My provisions primarily included AF Short Stories that were mild, tasty, and short in duration for the cigar naive. It was quite enjoyable watching the awkwardness how the cigars were handled, smoked, and hearing the reports of a few having mild symptoms of nic sickness and the buzz.

Fast forward to last week when my Son-in-law approaches me and says we need to go out to have a cigar one night. This caught me quite by surprise as I did not realize that he had enjoyed his bachelor party cigar that much. He said he had been thinking about it since then and recently had an opportunity to smoke a cigar with a friend at an area Cigar Lounge. We weren't able to get it scheduled that night due to the lateness we arrived home and I was just plain worn out from the traveling and still recovering from a cold. So again, he is at our place the other night and he asks if we can go have a cigar. I had just returned home in the evening from joining my friends from work for our weekly herf at a favorite lounge, so again I declined, but said that perhaps tomorrow we could. Today while driving home from work, I get a text from him saying that he is free for that cigar and would be heading over. I knew I could not put this off any longer. It wasn't that I didn't want to, just that with a larger family there are many other obligations that interfere. Despite having errands to run and kids to pick up from activities, my wife graciously says that she could manage the home-front and that we should go.

We chose a cigar lounge that is only a few blocks from my home. On the way, I talked about cigars, asking what he had tried before and if he liked it. We entered the walk-in humidor at the lounge where the attendant and I guided him on a cigar choice. I mentioned a few others that I enjoy. He settled on a Punch Rare Corojo. I selected a LADC Mi Amore.

We sat around a table, smoked our cigars, and enjoyed some accompanying drinks. I showed him some basics of cutting the cigar, how to properly toast and light, and even introduced him to retrohaling, which he accomplished. I had opportunities to chat with him during our affair to discuss his future plans, and of course to offer my fatherly advice with the best interest of my daughter in mind. ;)

We finished up and returned to my home, where I revealed my cigar collection to him. He had mentioned during the evening that he might be interested in acquiring a humidor, because there have recently been times he wanted a cigar but didn't have any around. I then proceeded to go through my cache and selected a handful of sticks for him to try. I grabbed a Boveda pack for storage, located an extra cutter I had and placed them all in a zippered baggie with instructions to put in a sealed container when he arrived home.

I haven't had many serious conversations with this young man prior, but thanks to the introduction of a cigar, I found that I now had an avenue to get him aside and have these bonding and guiding encounters. Besides, now I have another companion to justify going out to have a cigar!

You never know where the introduction to a cigar will lead.

WOW. What an awesome story. Awesome stuff Nature what a great connection you made!

[BLESKOP]

Hats off to you Mark. It is certainly a start to a great relationship one can only treasure. I guess one of these days he will be joining this family as well?

[Zeede]

Nice story!

I fully intend to vet any gentlemen callers. We'll start by having a house rule that the first few dates have to be at home, playing board games, with the whole family. Some of the less savory gentlemen will not put up with not being able to take my daughter out, alone, straight away. That is fine with me.

Then, we'll go to the range, to see how he handles firearms (the vast majority of folks here in California have never even seen a real gun, let alone shot one). If he can't treat guns with respect, he won't treat my daughter with respect.

Of course, she's eight, so this is all premature, but it never hurts to have a plan ready :)

[RenoH414]

Great story. My little girl is 5 and already I dread the day the boys come knocking. Lol. It sounds like your daughter chose well and you also get an opportunity to mentor a future BOTL. I hope I too get that lucky to have something like this great hobby to bond with the future SIL. Oh yeah, he dang sure better know how to hand a gun as well. If he can't protect himself how can I ever expect him to protect her...lol.

Congrats sir!!

Reno

[Horseshoe]

Thanks for sharing. Good job getting landing a Noob BOTL. Tell him to get on CB when he is ready to take the hobby on. I am sure we can help fill his storage containers:)

[dj1340]

Great story Mark, I got my son-in-law into cigars as well. Always nice to have a family member to enjoy a stick with.

[Dijit]

I too had these grand plans when my daughter was younger. Her first boyfriend was very respectful. Could be connected to me on the back porch cleaning one of the shotguns first time he came over. Her current boyfriend is also very respectful. No I wasnt cleaning a shotgun first time he met me. I was showing my daughter how to defend herself against an unarmed attacker. He now goes shooting with me on the odd Saturdays I am off. Wish I could convert him to the hobby of cigars but no luck yet but as much as I hate to admit it. He is a good kid and treats my daughter very well. Maybe if he sticks around long enough I will win, but its been 2 years already.

[TreySC]

Great story. Almost makes me wish I had a daughter so I could have a similar experience one day.

[WNYTONY]

That's awesome Mark. Haven't had my son in law "come around" yet but I'm still hopeful.

[cheaphumidors]

That is super sweet Mark. It sounds like your son-in-law just needed an excuse to bond with you. I wish my father would smoke a cigar with me, but alas, he thinks it is a nasty habit akin to cigarette smoking.

[Nature]

Hats off to you Mark. It is certainly a start to a great relationship one can only treasure. I guess one of these days he will be joining this family as well?

Yes, they were married last July.


Nice story!

I fully intend to vet any gentlemen callers. We'll start by having a house rule that the first few dates have to be at home, playing board games, with the whole family. Some of the less savory gentlemen will not put up with not being able to take my daughter out, alone, straight away. That is fine with me.


The first time we met, my wife and I sat him down in a chair in the corner and we grilled him for about 20 minutes. Now, he stands about 10 inches taller than me and he later admitted that I scared him. :bluegrin:


Great story. My little girl is 5 and already I dread the day the boys come knocking. Lol. It sounds like your daughter chose well and you also get an opportunity to mentor a future BOTL. I hope I too get that lucky to have something like this great hobby to bond with the future SIL. Oh yeah, he dang sure better know how to hand a gun as well. If he can't protect himself how can I ever expect him to protect her...lol.

Congrats sir!!

Reno

He is a good guy; needs a bit of direction and ambition though.
Yes, he does shoot. That's another thing he has invited me and my son out to do. Perhaps another bonding opportunity.


Thanks for sharing. Good job getting landing a Noob BOTL. Tell him to get on CB when he is ready to take the hobby on. I am sure we can help fill his storage containers:)

I began to steer him this way. Perhaps he will make a showing someday?


Great story. Almost makes me wish I had a daughter so I could have a similar experience one day.

No you don't. ;) Have the experience with your sons.


That is super sweet Mark. It sounds like your son-in-law just needed an excuse to bond with you. I wish my father would smoke a cigar with me, but alas, he thinks it is a nasty habit akin to cigarette smoking.

When he is ready for that humidor, I will be sure to send him your way!

[Tobias Lutz]

"Hats off to you Mark. It is certainly a start to a great relationship one can only treasure. I guess one of these days he will be joining this family as well?"

Yes, they were married last July.

I think he was talking about our family :)
Nature

[Branzig]

Awesome story!

Great job bonding with your son-in-law. Nothing is more important than being close to the one who is now living with your daughter.

My only question Nature is, did you mention that a cigar cutter has many other uses than just cutting a cigar? Especially if he hurts your little girl? :p

:lol: Sorry, couldn't resist haha :lol:

[Nature]

I think he was talking about our family :)
@Nature (http://www.cigarbum.com/forum/member.php?u=143)

oh yes, I see. I mentioned it. I think it is likely.

[jhedrick83]

Great story Mark! Sounds like he wants to have a connection and relationship with you too which is fantastic.

For me to story works somewhat in reverse. My after in law used to smoke cigars, he quit when my wife and her sister got older and expressed concerns to him (cancer runs in ther family unfortunately). Flash forward 10 years or so, I get back into cigars after about 4 years off and mention it to him. He tells me about how he used to love cigars. So we grabbed a couple and had a smoke. He about turned green by the end but we had a great time. From time to time we still get together on my back porch and enjoy a couple cigars and Bourbon together. I've always had a great relationship with my Father in Law, but it is nice to be able to sit back and relax with him and have that time to just talk about whatever without being bothered.

[TreySC]

No you don't. ;) Have the experience with your sons.


I said almost. :D I do plan on that if they are interested I would like to get something from each of their birth years and save it until they are old enough

[HabanoMan]

What a cool story Mark. Take any bonding experience you can and run with it. Nothing like a strong family unit (even in-laws) as I am sure you already know.

[GWBowman]

Great story. I'll have to suggest this to my daughter-in-law. :lol: My sons are responsible for getting me in the hobby just over a year ago.

[AuTechCoM]

That is awesome. Cigars have a way of bringing people together like nothing else.

on another note this is funny because, my daughters boyfriend whom i don't really care for has been plotting with my daughter to get in my good graces and to find approval from me so he has tried a few times to tag along with me or find some common ground with hobbies that we share, like shooting (i told them that they didn't want me to take him alone in a car with firearms lol) but just last week i think he found my Achilles heel and inquired about accompanying me to the cigar lounge...

So i guess now I have to give him a chance.

[jhedrick83]

That is awesome. Cigars have a way of bringing people together like nothing else.

on another note this is funny because, my daughters boyfriend whom i don't really care for has been plotting with my daughter to get in my good graces and to find approval from me so he has tried a few times to tag along with me or find some common ground with hobbies that we share, like shooting (i told them that they didn't want me to take him alone in a car with firearms lol) but just last week i think he found my Achilles heel and inquired about accompanying me to the cigar lounge...

So i guess now I have to give him a chance.

You never know, if you give him a chance he might turn out to be a decent guy. Of course, it's also possible you will want to head over to the range with him as soon as you guys are done with your cigar.. ;)

[AuTechCoM]

You never know, if you give him a chance he might turn out to be a decent guy. Of course, it's also possible you will want to head over to the range with him as soon as you guys are done with your cigar.. ;)

haha yeah that's what the wife said... Smoking a cigar does build relationships so I have no doubt that it might do the trick. He is a nice guy i just think he is too old for my 17 year old and i don't care for them meeting online and him all of a sudden moving 419 miles from his hometown to live closer to my daughter who still has to graduate high school and go to college.

sorry for the highjack

[GWBowman]

haha yeah that's what the wife said... Smoking a cigar does build relationships so I have no doubt that it might do the trick. He is a nice guy i just think he is too old for my 17 year old and i don't care for them meeting online and him all of a sudden moving 419 miles from his hometown to live closer to my daughter who still has to graduate high school and go to college.

sorry for the highjack

Certainly understand your concern and hope this goes well.

[RenoH414]

haha yeah that's what the wife said... Smoking a cigar does build relationships so I have no doubt that it might do the trick. He is a nice guy i just think he is too old for my 17 year old and i don't care for them meeting online and him all of a sudden moving 419 miles from his hometown to live closer to my daughter who still has to graduate high school and go to college.

sorry for the highjack

I completely understand that!! I would be very sceptical myself too.

Reno

[Upstatemax]

Awesome story!

I can only hope cigars are still legal by the time my girls are thinking about boys...

[Emperor Zurg]

I found a new smoking companion. Some may call it recruited or corrupted..

It began this last summer...

TL;DR for right now. I'll have to read this when I'm not at work...

[Old Smokey]

Nature, that is a great story. Loved it.

When my daughter was in the 7th grade she was all excited about a cute boy from school was coming over to see her. She had been getting all dolled up and wasn't quite finished when the doorbell rang. She asked me to answer it. I didn't have a shirt on, but went and opened the door and there stood this kid. We stood there looking at each other through the glass door. I took my index finger and licked it, then circled my left nipple while staring at him and he took off running. Scared that kid to death. My daughter came into the living room a couple of minutes later expecting to see the boy waiting for her. She said, where is he? I told her that when I opened the door he took off running and I had no idea where he went. He never did come back. Poor kid!

[Lapithicus]

Mark, Great story (and nice writing).

My nephew recently moved near me and I took him to a lounge. I don’t think I had ever talked to him that much at one time. He had an Undercrown Toro and I a Bucanero Full Sail Maduro accompanied by a few wheaty beverages that he sprang for. It was a good time, but he has smoked cigarettes for many year s and is currently using the vaping method to try to kick them. So I didn’t want to derail him and haven’t asked him again (my brother would kill me if he went back to the C-sticks).

My daughter is 20 and in college so the procession has started. Her first boyfriend liked the other kind of smokes, probably a little too much. So out he went. With her being eight hours away it might be some time before I get the chance to sit down with one and talk it out as you did. If they have eyes, though, they can see the way to my heart…